Right Analysis   /   Humor
The Babylon Bee / February 24, 2026

Gavin Newsom Wows Black Audience by Putting Some Hot Sauce in His Purple Drank

“I am not just trying to score points here,” he insisted. “We’re alike in so many ways.”

The Babylon Bee / February 23, 2026

Canada Now Officially an American Province

“We took you over and all we lost were a few teeth,” announced President Trump. “This is so embarrassing for you.”

The Babylon Bee / February 19, 2026

New Yorkers Report Warmth of Collectivism Feels Strangely Like Crushing Tax Hike

“Oh yeah, the warmth often feels like that at first,” explained Mayor Mamdani.

The Babylon Bee / February 18, 2026

AOC Condemns Spain for Stealing Mexico’s Language

“What’s going to be next? Stealing the recipe for Tex-Mex chicken enchiladas?”

The Babylon Bee / February 17, 2026

Trump Honors Hillary Clinton With New Federal Holiday ‘Almost Presidents Day’

“The nation’s eyes are upon all those who could have been president, if they hadn’t been total losers,” said a federal spokesperson.

The Babylon Bee / February 16, 2026

ICE Leaves Minneapolis to Focus on American Cities

“Honestly, we had no real jurisdiction up there, since it’s not part of the United States,” Tom Homan said.

The Babylon Bee / February 13, 2026

Democrats Counter With STEAL Act to Ban Voter ID

“This legislation is vital to the survival of our party,” said House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries.

The Babylon Bee / February 12, 2026

9 Leading Candidates for Next Year’s Super Bowl Halftime Show

It’ll be electrifying to hear Dave Ramsey lecture everyone in attendance about how much they spent on their Super Bowl tickets.

The Babylon Bee / February 11, 2026

U.S. Ski Team Awarded Gold Medal for Synchronized Screaming About Trump

They just barely beat out Iran to win the gold.

The Babylon Bee / February 10, 2026

Support for ICE Skyrockets to 99% After Halftime Show

Following the halftime performance, ICE operations appear to now have almost complete support of the entire country.

The Babylon Bee / February 9, 2026

Hunter Biden Launches HunterRx From Back of Van

“Drugs? I got ‘em!” Biden stated proudly. “And remember, the first one’s free!”

The Babylon Bee / February 6, 2026

Suspicious: Voter ID Bill Defeated in Senate by Vote of 7 Million to 53

“Math isn’t my strong suit, but I’m calculating that there were 6,999,953 more votes than there are Senators,” said Republican Senator Ted Cruz.

The Babylon Bee / February 5, 2026

Here Are 12 Fun Crimes You Can Get Away With if You Just Say ‘We Are on Stolen Land’

Not paying your property taxes: You shouldn’t be forced to pay property taxes if that property was stolen.

The Babylon Bee / February 4, 2026

Roomful of Pedophiles Protests ICE Deporting Pedophiles

“We can’t deport these people. They’re just like us!” said one prominent celebrity pedophile.

The Babylon Bee / February 3, 2026

Tim Walz Emerges From Den to Declare 6 More Weeks of Rioting and Fraud

“It’s always rioting and fraud season, but the Governor-coming-out-of-the-den tradition is good family fun,” said handler Marsha Billingsworth.

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