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Right Analysis   /   Humor
The Babylon Bee / December 5, 2025

Minnesota Vikings Change Name to Minnesota Somali Pirates

“This could be a huge boost in interest and revenue,” said Steve Poppen, the team’s Executive Vice President and Chief Business Administration Officer.

The Babylon Bee / December 4, 2025

Democrats Accuse Luke Skywalker of War Crimes for Using More Than One Proton Torpedo Against Death Star

“Totally unnecessary and uncalled for,” said Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer.

The Babylon Bee / December 3, 2025

MRI Confirms Donald Trump Has Incurable Advanced-Stage Patriotism

“Nobody’s got a case of this like mine,” the president told the media in brief comments in the Oval Office.

The Babylon Bee / December 2, 2025

Tim Walz Offers Journalists Free Tampons to Stop Talking About Fraud Scandal

“I can beat this story,” Walz reportedly muttered to himself, reaching deep into his coat pockets for another package of tampons.

The Babylon Bee / December 1, 2025

10 More Groups Trump Is Designating as Terrorist Organizations

The host panel of “The View”: They stage a new attack every single morning.

The Babylon Bee / November 26, 2025

Trump to Execute All Turkeys Pardoned by Biden’s Autopen

“Fake pardons! Off with their heads!” Trump loudly proclaimed as administration staffers lined the turkeys up.

The Babylon Bee / November 25, 2025

Average IQ in Congress Expected to Rise Significantly After MTG Resigns

“The mean IQ of a Congressman will still be roughly that of a baked potato, but we’ll take it. She’s been really dragging us down.”

The Babylon Bee / November 21, 2025

Do You Have What It Takes to Be a Professional Journalist? Here Are 9 Qualifications

No actual training in reporting facts: You don’t want actual news to get in the way of telling your predetermined story.

The Babylon Bee / November 20, 2025

Scholars Now Believe Number of the Beast Is Actually 67

“Little did we know — at least until just now — that the proper translation of ‘666’ is actually ‘67.’”

The Babylon Bee / November 19, 2025

In Devastating Blow, Newly Released Emails Reveal Trump Not Well-Liked by Pedophile

“I don’t know how Trump comes back from this,” said a White House source on condition of anonymity.

The Babylon Bee / November 18, 2025

8 Ways Trump Is Exactly Like Moses

Republicans always win elections so long as Trump keeps his arms raised: Vance and Rubio are only there to help keep them up.

The Babylon Bee / November 17, 2025

Scientific Algorithm Determines Most Oppressed Person in History Is Michelle Obama

“I had to endure getting my makeup done every day by professionals, and sometimes they messed up my eyeliner.”

The Babylon Bee / November 14, 2025

Heartwarming: Group of Senile Senior Citizens Finally Finds Employment

The federal government is set to hire just over five hundred elderly, mentally incapacitated individuals.

The Babylon Bee / November 13, 2025

Democrats Somberly Remove Sombreros, Signaling End of Shutdown

“This is indeed a mucho, mucho sad day,” said House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries.

The Babylon Bee / November 12, 2025

Congress Prepares to Pivot From Doing Nothing Because of the Shutdown to Doing Nothing Because They’re Congress

“I don’t know what the American people are really expecting.”

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