13 Most Surprising Things in the New Spending Bill
$120 billion for the “Big Guy”: One last time for old time’s sake.
12 Democrats Boycotting Trump’s Inauguration
The current list of Democrats refusing to attend and staying home.
9 Warning Signs an Upcoming Movie Might Be Woke
“It doesn’t star Kirk Cameron, Kevin Sorbo, or Dennis Quaid.”
Joe Biden Pardons Wife Jill for Impersonating a Doctor
“I am very proud to present this award to my wife… whatever her name is.”
Caitlin Clark Explains That White Privilege Feels Weirdly Like Getting Beat Up by Giant Black Lesbians
“I recognize that this league was built by these gargantuan lesbians, and we must honor all the work they do punching me because of my skin color.”
McDonald’s Surpasses FBI in Number of Shooters Apprehended in 2024
DOGE announced that to save costs, it will simply replace all FBI agents with current McDonald’s cashiers.
17 Signs of Poverty in a Capitalist Country
“You can only afford the $7000 nosebleed seats for a Taylor Swift concert.”
More Accurate Wedding Vows for Him and Her
Adding these new vows will really bring weddings into the 21st century.
13 More People Biden Is Considering Pardoning
Hunter Biden may be the least controversial criminal receiving a pardon.
75% of Elves Laid Off After Elon Musk Visits North Pole
“Bloat is the enemy of efficiency,” he said.
Trump Announces Plan to Annex Canada and Rename It ‘Gay North Dakota’
Experts predicted they would be far too polite to raise any opposition to the idea.
10 Drastic Changes Kash Patel Will Make To FBI
Here are just a few of the most incredible.
Biden Forced To Issue Another Pardon After Hunter Commits 17 More Crimes
“Listen up, folks… everybody makes mistakes. Hunter is the finest and most intelligent man I’ve ever known.”
America Starting to Think This ‘Joe Biden’ Guy Might Be a Liar
“I’m beginning to think he may, on occasion, not be totally honest,” said local woman Amy Smith.
9 Things Public Schools Won’t Tell You About the First Thanksgiving
The turkey was carved by none other than a young Joe Biden.
Top Opinion
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Matthew Continetti Lee Edwards, 1932-2024
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Gary Bauer Shutdown Showdown
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David Harsanyi The Obama Doctrine Is Dead
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Michael Barone Trump’s Success: Who’d Have Thunk It?
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Victor Davis Hanson Dronomania
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Josh Hammer Thoughts on Fatherhood: A Post-Birth Dispatch
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Michael Reagan Biden and Gang Say Don’t Sweat the Drones
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Mark Alexander Profiles of Valor: GEN Burwell Baxter ‘B.B.’ Bell
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