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Right Analysis   /   Humor
The Babylon Bee / December 6, 2023

Weird: Man Becomes More Conservative as He Regains Brain Function

Conservatives have sat dumbfounded as they found themselves nodding along with the Democrat.

The Babylon Bee / December 4, 2023

Nation in Shock After Gavin Newsom Murdered on Live TV

Authorities are still searching for three accomplices: Sean Hannity, Ron DeSantis, and a paper map of human poop.

The Babylon Bee / December 1, 2023

Squirrel Wearing MAGA Hat Seen Scampering Away From Falling National Christmas Tree

Capitol Police have launched a city-wide hunt for the dangerous insurrectionist.

The Babylon Bee / November 27, 2023

Musk to Put Cybertruck’s Bulletproof Armor to Ultimate Test With Trip Through Downtown Chicago

“Whether you find yourself in a post-apocalyptic zombie wasteland or in Chicago, the Cybertruck is ready,” said Elon Musk as he made the announcement.

The Babylon Bee / November 22, 2023

Hunter Biden Disappointed to Learn White Powder All Over White House Just Fake Snow

At publishing time, Hunter was overheard pleading with his father to make sure he got “the real stuff” next year.

The Babylon Bee / November 20, 2023

Candace Owens and Ben Shapiro Forced to Wear Their Get-Along Shirt

While tensions were high at first, after a few hours of sulking in the shirt, their hearts began to soften.

The Babylon Bee / November 17, 2023

Palestinian at Hospital for Colonoscopy Not Sure About This Doctor Holding Grenade Launcher

While not looking forward to his colonoscopy to begin with, the sight of a grenade launcher really threw Mr. Ghazali for a loop.

The Babylon Bee / November 16, 2023

Newsom Assures Homeless They Can Resume Pooping on Sidewalks Once His Boss Leaves

Sources say locals were shocked to wake up on Monday and find their streets temporarily clean, safe, and free of mountains of human fecal matter.

The Babylon Bee / November 13, 2023

Thousands Already Lined Up for Black Friday After Grocery Store Offers Prices From When Trump Was President

The shocking deals will reportedly extend to everything in the store, with several grocery items to be discounted upwards of eighty percent.

The Babylon Bee / November 10, 2023

More Grocery Stores Installing Defibrillators at Checkout for When You See Your Total

At publishing time, grocery delivery services such as Instacart began hiring fitness trainers who could reliably withstand the negative impact of grocery shopping.

The Babylon Bee / November 6, 2023

FBI Uncovers Horrifying Extremist Reading Material in Mike Johnson’s Home

Eyewitnesses reported seeing FBI agents removing the book from the home in a sealed plastic bag for further investigation.

The Babylon Bee / November 3, 2023

God Rewards Only Team That Doesn’t Have a Pride Night With World Series Win

“Pride Night cometh before the fall, as they say.”

The Babylon Bee / November 1, 2023

White House Accidentally Hands Out Plastic Baggies of Cocaine to Trick-or-Treaters

At publishing time, the Secret Service had confirmed they have no leads as to where the cocaine may have come from.

The Babylon Bee / October 30, 2023

Newsom Shows Solidarity With Biden by Also Falling on Face in Front of World Leaders

Mr. Newsom decided it was time to support President Biden by bulldozing over a child and falling to the court like a baby giraffe.

The Babylon Bee / October 27, 2023

Gavin Newsom Visits Xi Jinping to Get More Ideas on How to Run California

“Oh, and if people make memes about you resembling a cartoon character, right to jail!” shouted the Pooh Bear-shaped dictator.

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