Right Analysis   /   Humor
The Babylon Bee / March 25, 2025

‘Snow White’ Beaten at Box Office by Middle School Recorder Recital

“Congratulations to the Recorder Rascals of Rushville, you earned it.”

The Babylon Bee / March 24, 2025

7 Most Shocking Revelations From the JFK Files

“Fidel Castro fathered a son out of wedlock named Justin.”

The Babylon Bee / March 20, 2025

Breaking: Biden’s Official Statement on His Alleged Use of Autopen

A spokesperson says they hope this will put the “wild accusations” to rest.

The Babylon Bee / March 19, 2025

Federal Judge Orders Astronauts Be Returned to Space Station

“I will not stand by while Donald Trump abuses his power like a dictator.”

The Babylon Bee / March 18, 2025

51 Former Intelligence Officials Insist Biden Never Once Used an Autopen

“I personally witnessed Biden signing the pardons with my own two eyes,” said former CIA Director John Brennan.

The Babylon Bee / March 17, 2025

Enough Is Enough: Supreme Court Rules First Amendment Does Not Apply to Meghan Markle

At publishing time, President Donald Trump had Meghan Markle arrested and charged with crimes against humanity.

The Babylon Bee / March 14, 2025

Liberals Defeat Nazis by Painting Swastikas Everywhere and Torching Immigrant Businesses

“I literally had to get several swastikas tattooed on my face, but it was all worth it to defeat Hitler’s second coming.”

The Babylon Bee / March 13, 2025

Layoffs Delayed as Dept. of Education Unable to Calculate What Fifty Percent of Employees Would Be

“We really don’t know how to proceed. I wish there were some sort of department of fractions.”

The Babylon Bee / March 12, 2025

Trump Demands Investigation Into Whoever Nominated Amy Coney Barrett

“She has been a big disappointment. Very sad. Very tragic, what she’s done. We have to find out who did it.”

The Babylon Bee / March 11, 2025

RFK Jr. Announces Seal Team Six Has Neutralized the Kool-Aid Man

“Ladies and gentlemen, we got him.”

The Babylon Bee / March 10, 2025

Laid-Off IRS Agent Gets New Job Checking Receipts at Costco Exit

“All day I get to peer into people’s private financial information and audit their every expenditure before they leave the building.”

The Babylon Bee / March 7, 2025

Hitler Defeated After Opposition Party Holds Up Tiny Signs on Paddles

“We did it! I knew the little signs would work,” said opposition leader Hagan Schulz.

The Babylon Bee / March 6, 2025

8 Powerful Ways Democrats Protested Trump’s Speech

Boy, they sure showed Trump. He’ll think twice before crossing them ever again.

The Babylon Bee / March 5, 2025

Trump Institutes Military Draft for Everyone With Ukraine Flag in Their Facebook Profile

“These upper-middle class pilates ladies are perfect for the front lines.”

The Babylon Bee / March 4, 2025

Academy Announces New Oscar Award ‘Most Likely to Be on Epstein List’

“There are just so many great contenders, people with incredible resumes of degeneracy and deviancy.”

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