Sneak Peek: A Look at the Features of Trump’s White House Ballroom
Administration insiders provided the following mock-up showcasing the exciting design for the new addition.
Trump Sneaks Onto Supreme Court Bench Cleverly Disguised as Justice Sotomayor
The president repeatedly coughed “WRONG” or “BULLCRAP” as the counsel argued in favor of birthright citizenship.
KBJ: ‘How Can a Law Be Unconstitutional if I Like It?’
“I mean, laws are just things we like that we want to make everybody do, right?”
11 Pickup Lines for Getting Chicks at a ‘No Kings’ Rally
“I love the way the wind blows through your pink and green hair.”
49 States Enact Legislation Banning Immigrants From California
“We’ve got to do whatever it takes to keep the Californians out,” said Texas Governor Greg Abbott.
Iran Denies Negotiating With Trump as All Its Leaders Are Dead
“It is not possible for our leadership to negotiate any end to hostilities because we have no leadership.”
Mysterious Investor ‘Pancy_Nelosi’ Makes Millions on Oil Trade Minutes Before Trump’s Iran Announcement
“It’s almost as if that investor had some sort of insider knowledge.”
Airport Wait Times Eliminated After TSA Checkpoints Taken Over by Chick-fil-A
“They even gave me extra packets of sauce. I hope they take over the DMV next.”
8 Tips for Getting Through TSA Faster
Follow this list, and you’ll only have to wait six hours before you make it to your gate.
10 Ways to Honor Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris may be gone, but you can still carry on his legacy.
Tucker Carlson Loses on ‘Wheel of Fortune’ After Guessing ‘Israel’ on Every Puzzle
“I’m going to donate my winnings to the Iranian government, by the way.”
Man Bravely Resigns From Trump Administration at Great Cost of Doing Podcast Tour, Getting Book Deal
“It takes enormous courage to leave a government position for fame and money.”
9 Clear Signs the Ayatollah Is Gay
He was caught last year snuggling with another mullah on the Jumbotron at a Coldplay concert.
‘Jim Crow 2.0!’ Shouts Chuck Schumer While Being Escorted Out of Costco for Not Having Membership Card
“This is how fascism starts!”
Iran Asks Democrats for Tips on Running Country With Dead Leader
Iranian officials reportedly called the Democratic Party’s national headquarters directly to enquire for tips.
Top Opinion
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Victor Joecks How to Help Young Men
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Rich Lowry Yes, Boldly Go
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David Harsanyi Everyone Knows What the Democrats’ AIPAC Obsession Is Really About
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Christine Flowers While Little Will Change at DOJ, It’s Better That Bondi Is Gone
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Republican National Committee The Economy Remains Strong Under President Trump
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The Washington Stand Flight to Reality: How Reading Fiction Equips Us for the Real World
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The Babylon Bee Sneak Peek: A Look at the Features of Trump’s White House Ballroom
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Gary Bauer American Greatness
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