Right Analysis   /   Humor
The Babylon Bee / April 22, 2024

Biden Claims His Uncle’s Heart Was Ripped Out During Human Sacrifice Ritual in India

“And if you don’t believe me, then I’m not a Professor of Archaeology.”

The Babylon Bee / April 19, 2024

NPR Says They Always Strive to Feature a Broad Range of Opinions From Slightly Communist to Very Communist

At publishing time, the janitor at NPR was seen straightening a giant glorious portrait of Joe Biden.

The Babylon Bee / April 17, 2024

Judge Warns Trump Criminal Trial May Last Until, Say, November 6

Juan Merchan was all but certain that this particular case would reach its completion on the first Wednesday of November.

The Babylon Bee / April 12, 2024

Trump Indicted for Taking More Chick-fil-A Sauces Than He Actually Needed for His Order

“We’ve got him this time,” a Department of Justice spokesperson said.

The Babylon Bee / April 10, 2024

Biden Announces Student Loan Forgiveness to Help People Afford All His Taxes and Inflation

Ninety percent of college grads confirmed they had already spent all their extra cash on ramen noodles.

The Babylon Bee / April 8, 2024

South Carolina Women’s Basketball Coach Announces Incoming Recruits Greg and Dave

The nation remains unsurprised that the first trans D-I athletes would be playing for a team called the “Lady Gamecocks.”

The Babylon Bee / April 5, 2024

After Asking for Preferred Gender Pronouns, Doctor Asks Patient, ‘OK, Now What’s Your Actual Gender?’

Dr. DeOrio took it upon himself to educate his patient on the importance of biological sex in medical treatment.

The Babylon Bee / April 3, 2024

Scottish Parliament Declares William Wallace Was a Woman After Learning He Wore a Skirt

When Wallace talked about “freedom,” he was definitely referring to the liberation of coming out as trans.

The Babylon Bee / March 29, 2024

DeSantis Kicked Out of Republican Party for Accomplishing Too Many Things

The move was announced after careful deliberation by the RNC in coordination with top GOP leaders.

The Babylon Bee / March 27, 2024

Pete Buttigieg Holds Emergency Press Conference to Announce He Is Taking 3 More Months Maternity Leave

According to sources, Buttigieg still has 38 months of paid maternity leave available should he need it.

Political Editors / March 25, 2024

In Brief: Biden’s New Stability Shoes for Fall-Prone Seniors

It’s everything you need to know about the president’s newest fashion choice.

The Babylon Bee / March 22, 2024

Checkmate: Trump Sneaks Back Into White House, Invokes Squatter’s Rights

Though Biden is expected to challenge Trump’s unwelcome possession of the White House, legal experts suggest it is unlikely to succeed.

The Babylon Bee / March 20, 2024

Unhinged Trump Threatens More Violence by Promising to Trigger a ‘Landslide’ on Election Day

This is the first time a former president has threatened to trigger one if the election doesn’t go the way he thinks it should.

The Babylon Bee / March 18, 2024

Google Gemini Wishes Everyone a Happy St. Patrick’s Day

Gemini drew millions of iterations before finally settling on the perfect image of the historic Saint Patrick.

The Babylon Bee / March 15, 2024

Nation Reassured as Special Counsel Transcript Reveals Biden Still Able to Make Car Noises With His Mouth

“‘Cars go vroom! Vroom, bbbrrraaa-vroom!’ We can put any questions left about his mental fitness to rest.”

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