The Patriot Post: America's News Digest

Right Analysis / Humor

Humor / The Babylon Bee / August 5, 2026

James Talarico Tells Us His 9 Favorite Bible Verses

Thank you, Mr. Talarico, for sharing your journey through Scripture with us.

Humor / The Babylon Bee / August 4, 2026

WNBA Coaches Stumped as to What the ‘W’ Stands For

“There’s just no way to know. In fact, we suspect it might just be one of those things that literally can’t be known.”

Humor / The Babylon Bee / August 3, 2026

Spain Turns to Experienced Border Czar Kamala Harris for Help With Migrant Invasion

“No one is more experienced with violent migrant surges like this. Kamala will know how to handle this.”

Humor / The Babylon Bee / July 31, 2026

Here’s a Complete List of Every One of Candace Owens’ Theories That Proved to Be Correct

Great job, Candace! Keep up the good work.

Humor / The Babylon Bee / July 30, 2026

Science Pleads the 5th

Representative after representative grew visibly frustrated as Science repeatedly invoked its constitutional protections.

Humor / The Babylon Bee / July 29, 2026

8 Signs Your Car Might Have Been Radicalized

The beard and turban are dead giveaways: This might be your first clue that something is wrong.

Humor / The Babylon Bee / July 28, 2026

Fauci Starting to Think That Maybe Keeping a Daily Perjury Diary Was a Bad Idea

“That might have been a mistake,” said Fauci as he prepared for Congressional questioning. “Hindsight, eh?”

Humor / The Babylon Bee / July 27, 2026

Elon Musk Acquires Total Ownership of The Economist

Musk offered Zanny Beddoes the option to stay on with the company, on the condition that she do actual journalism.

Humor / The Babylon Bee / July 24, 2026

WNBA Warns Sophie Cunningham the League Will Fold if Only Women Are Allowed to Play

“We’d be gone tomorrow,” said WNBA Commissioner Cathy Engelbert.

Humor / The Babylon Bee / July 23, 2026

Smithsonian Director Says She Is Completely Unaware of Any ‘Kill Whitey’ Tattoo on Her Forehead

Hartig also pushed back against accusations that the Smithsonian promotes any “woke” ideology.

Humor / The Babylon Bee / July 22, 2026

‘We Would Never Rig an Election,’ Announces President Xi After Again Winning 100% of Vote

“My support for free and fair elections is so strong that everyone votes for me every single time.”

Humor / The Babylon Bee / July 21, 2026

Trump Secures Elections by Putting Voting Booths in Olive Garden

“If Olive Garden can require photo ID for their Never-Ending Pasta Pass, they already have a workflow in place that can make our elections great again.”

Humor / The Babylon Bee / July 20, 2026

Democrats Say They Are Perfectly Capable of Rigging Elections Without Any Help From China

“Why would I use China to rig an election when I can support election interference made right here in America?”

Humor / The Babylon Bee / July 17, 2026

‪Hegseth Orders Any Military Personnel With Low Testosterone Be Transferred to the Navy‬

“There are three possible results for your testosterone labs: high, normal, or welcome to the Navy,” said Hegseth.

Humor / The Babylon Bee / July 16, 2026

10 Rejected Titles for Biden’s New Memoir

Judging from the list, there were a lot of great titles to choose from.

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