WASHINGTON, D.C. — Capitol Police responded to an urgent call amid reports of a loud disturbance in the congressional offices. Michigan Congresswoman Rashida Tlaib was later reportedly uninjured after her pager mysteriously exploded.

The incident occurred earlier Tuesday in Tlaib’s Capitol Hill office, where her pager had been sitting on a desk before spontaneously detonating, causing a significant scare but leaving no reported injuries.

“It just blew up right out of nowhere!” one of Tlaib’s staffers said following the explosion. “We were just going about our business, checking over the congresswoman’s itinerary of Death-To-Israel protests, when there was a huge blast in the next room. We went in there, papers were flying everywhere, and there was smoke… thank goodness she had put the pager on the desk. Such a crazy, unexplained incident, right?”

Tlaib’s staff was questioned on the origin of the pager but provided little clarification. “She said it was a gift from some dear friends,” one staffer explained. “Honestly, we thought it was a little weird for a U.S. congresswoman to be carrying a pager in 2024, but didn’t really think too much of it. Now it blew up in our office. I guess we’re seeing why people stopped carrying pagers now, right? I mean, those things are obviously dangerous!”

At publishing time, police were called to Dearborn, Michigan after reports of several thousand pager explosions in the area.

From our friends at The Babylon Bee.