Did you know? The Patriot Post is funded 100% by its readers. Help us stay front and center in the fight for Liberty and support the 2024 Year-End Campaign.

November 1, 2024

Are You Garbage? Know the Signs

We have consulted the experts to determine the clearest signs of whether or not someone is garbage.

If you’re a regular American who heard President Joe Biden refer to half the country as “garbage” the other day, you may be wondering to yourself: “Am I a garbage?”

Well, wonder no longer, for we at the Babylon Bee have consulted the experts to determine the clearest signs of whether or not someone is garbage. Do you fit any of them? Take a look:

  1. You’ve had fewer than 11 Covid booster shots: Wow. You’re trash.

  2. You’ve never burned an American flag: Do you even love democracy, trash-boy?

  3. You do this weird thing where you pay for merchandise before leaving the store with it: What sort of festering bag of refuse does this?

  4. You don’t try to load a shotgun through its butt during a photo-op: You disgusting, rancid load of slop.

  5. Your wife doesn’t have a boyfriend: Gross. How old-fashioned of you.

  6. Your husband doesn’t have a boyfriend: Classic garbage move.

  7. You came to life when radioactive ooze was dumped on an old bag of garbage and you crawled your way out of the dumpster and are now determined to kill whoever made you a terrible reality: Wow. Literal garbage.

  8. You don’t have pronouns listed in your email signature: Now your pronouns are Trash/Trash’s.

  9. You’re not a Dallas Cowboys fan: Ewww, so icky!

  10. You don’t want to subsidize someone else’s gender studies degree: Gross — you’re so foul.

  11. You judge people by the content of their character: Martin Luther King would be ashamed of you, racist.

  12. You think Rings Of Power is an abomination: It’s a work of art — get over it, Philistine.

  13. You follow the laws, pay your taxes, provide for your family, contribute to society, and go to church: Garbage is as garbage does.

Well, there you go. Do you match up with any of these signs? Get out of here, garbage person.

From our friends at The Babylon Bee.

Who We Are

The Patriot Post is a highly acclaimed weekday digest of news analysis, policy and opinion written from the heartland — as opposed to the MSM’s ubiquitous Beltway echo chambers — for grassroots leaders nationwide. More

What We Offer

On the Web

We provide solid conservative perspective on the most important issues, including analysis, opinion columns, headline summaries, memes, cartoons and much more.

Via Email

Choose our full-length Digest or our quick-reading Snapshot for a summary of important news. We also offer Cartoons & Memes on Monday and Alexander’s column on Wednesday.

Our Mission

The Patriot Post is steadfast in our mission to extend the endowment of Liberty to the next generation by advocating for individual rights and responsibilities, supporting the restoration of constitutional limits on government and the judiciary, and promoting free enterprise, national defense and traditional American values. We are a rock-solid conservative touchstone for the expanding ranks of grassroots Americans Patriots from all walks of life. Our mission and operation budgets are not financed by any political or special interest groups, and to protect our editorial integrity, we accept no advertising. We are sustained solely by you. Please support The Patriot Fund today!


The Patriot Post and Patriot Foundation Trust, in keeping with our Military Mission of Service to our uniformed service members and veterans, are proud to support and promote the National Medal of Honor Heritage Center, the Congressional Medal of Honor Society, both the Honoring the Sacrifice and Warrior Freedom Service Dogs aiding wounded veterans, the National Veterans Entrepreneurship Program, the Folds of Honor outreach, and Officer Christian Fellowship, the Air University Foundation, and Naval War College Foundation, and the Naval Aviation Museum Foundation. "Greater love has no one than this, to lay down one's life for his friends." (John 15:13)

★ PUBLIUS ★

“Our cause is noble; it is the cause of mankind!” —George Washington

Please join us in prayer for our nation — that righteous leaders would rise and prevail and we would be united as Americans. Pray also for the protection of our Military Patriots, Veterans, First Responders, and their families. Please lift up your Patriot team and our mission to support and defend our Republic's Founding Principle of Liberty, that the fires of freedom would be ignited in the hearts and minds of our countrymen.

The Patriot Post is protected speech, as enumerated in the First Amendment and enforced by the Second Amendment of the Constitution of the United States of America, in accordance with the endowed and unalienable Rights of All Mankind.

Copyright © 2024 The Patriot Post. All Rights Reserved.

The Patriot Post does not support Internet Explorer. We recommend installing the latest version of Microsoft Edge, Mozilla Firefox, or Google Chrome.