February 12, 2025

10 Essential Things USAID Provides to Poor Kids in Foreign Countries

Contraceptives, subscriptions to Politico, rocket-propelled grenades, gay stuff…

Over the last two weeks, everyone has heard all about how much USAID has done for people around the world, but the ones hurt most by Trump’s funding cuts are the children living in poverty-stricken countries.

The Babylon Bee has put together a list below of the most essential things poor children receive through USAID:


  1. Contraceptives: The lifeblood of any 3rd-world nation.

  2. Pro subscriptions to Politico: Only $24,000 per poor kid.

  3. Rocket-propelled grenades: Along with other important weaponry to battle the Great Satan.

  4. Gay stuff: The most popular item USAID provides around the globe.

  5. Free climate change PowerPoint presentations: How else will starving, impoverished children learn about the greatest threat to their lives?

  6. Kansas City Chiefs 2025 Superbowl Champion t-shirts: These are so stylish.

  7. Surplus Target chest binders & tuck-friendly swimsuits: It would be horrible for them to live in poverty with swimwear that incorrectly assumes their gender.

  8. Sacks of government cheese: The best kind of cheese. Just add water.

  9. Copies of the all-female Ghostbusters movie on DVD: They can at least be used as frisbees.

  10. All-expenses-paid trips via cargo plane to a top-secret fundraiser for the Clinton Foundation: A trip so exciting you may never come home.


Can you believe the Trump administration wants to deprive poor children around the world of the basic, essential things listed above? Truly evil.

From our friends at The Babylon Bee.

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