51 Former Intelligence Officials Insist Biden Never Once Used an Autopen
“I personally witnessed Biden signing the pardons with my own two eyes,” said former CIA Director John Brennan.
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a stunning blow to Trump’s dubious claim that former president Joe Biden signed his last-minute pardons with an autopen, 51 former intelligence officials have come forward to testify that Biden never once used an autopen and that all his signatures are legitimate.
“Oh yeah, they’re all totally legit. I personally witnessed Biden signing the pardons with my own two eyes,” said former CIA Director John Brennan to reporters. “You have to believe what former intelligence officials say. That’s in the Constitution.”
The 51 former intelligence officials have drafted and signed a letter verifying the authenticity of every Biden pardon, especially any pardons that apply to the 51 former intelligence officials.
“It’s our patriotic duty to come forward, and America’s patriotic duty to accept exactly what we say without question,” said another former intelligence official whose job at the CIA was to bring coffee to other former intelligence officials. “You can trust anything said by a former intelligence official. Just hear how official and impressive ‘former intelligence official’ sounds. This is common sense.”
At publishing time, Trump had responded by directing DOGE to cut off funding for the former intelligence officials’ favorite NGOs.
From our friends at The Babylon Bee.
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