The Babylon Bee: Former White House Doctor Denies Ever Knowing a 'Joe Biden'

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Humor / July 10, 2025

Former White House Doctor Denies Ever Knowing a ‘Joe Biden’

“Never heard of the guy, sorry,” said Dr. O’Connor. “Really wish I could help, but I’m just drawing a total blank on that name. Biden, Biden…nope, not ringing any bells.”

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The Babylon Bee

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Former White House Physician Dr. Kevin O'Connor, who served from 2020-2024, testified Wednesday morning that he has never known any person by the name of “Joe Biden.”

The House of Representatives asked Dr. O'Connor to testify as to whether he had ever been instructed to lie about former President Biden’s health and mental fitness, but Dr. O'Connor simply explained that he had never heard of anyone called “Joe Biden” or “President Biden” in his life.

“Never heard of the guy, sorry,” said Dr. O'Connor. “Really wish I could help, but I’m just drawing a total blank on that name. Biden, Biden…nope, not ringing any bells.”

The House Panel reminded Dr. O'Connor that he had personally conducted all of Biden’s physicals and showed him his signature on each one. “Weird, must be another Dr. Kevin O'Connor with super similar handwriting. Crazy,” responded Dr. O'Connor. “Yeah, I see those photos you’re holding up that look like me with this ‘Biden’ guy, but that’s someone else because I don’t know him. I mean, we do look a little similar, so I see how you got confused. Sorry, guys.”

At publishing time, Dr. O'Connor had asked to be excused as one of his demented patients with prostate cancer needed him up in Delaware.

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