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July 18, 2025

Newsom Founds Underground Railroad to Help Mexican Kids Travel to Work the Marijuana Farms

“Every Mexican kid deserves the chance to live out their dream of working as slave labor in California,” Newsom told reporters.

SACRAMENTO, CA — An inspiring story emerged amid the ongoing immigration controversy, as Governor Gavin Newsom founded an Underground Railroad to help Mexican kids travel to work on California’s marijuana farms.

After ICE operations made headlines in recent weeks with raids on California cannabis farms, Newsom made the noble decision to create a secret system to help unaccompanied minor migrants avoid detection by the authorities and find their way north to work as day laborers.

“Every Mexican kid deserves the chance to live out their dream of working as slave labor in California,” Newsom told reporters. “This weed isn’t going to pick itself, and with Donald Trump’s oppressive ICE agents constantly arresting our adult illegal aliens, we owe it to our great marijuana growers to keep them fully stocked with child labor. That’s the promise these parentless children get in Gavin Newsom’s California.”

Newsom’s Underground Railroad provides Mexican kids with a system of routes and safehouses that allows them to secretly and safely travel from their home country to the Golden State to begin their new lives of endlessly picking cannabis. “Thank you, Gavin Newsom,” said 9-year-old Luis Garcia, who arrived in California by himself to live on a marijuana farm. “I was afraid I would never make it here, but he made it happen.”

At publishing time, Newsom’s office announced plans to create large-scale marijuana plantations where Mexican families could work in return for free lodging and food for generations.

From our friends at The Babylon Bee.

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