U.S. — With political tensions running at a renewed high since the assassination of Charlie Kirk, Democrats across the country expressed confusion after seeing numerous clips of conservatives holding weird Molotov cocktails that didn’t ever explode.

In bewildering videos from multiple cities throughout the nation, large groups of conservatives gathered together to mourn Kirk’s death and call attention to the hateful rhetoric of the political left, all while holding what appeared to be crude explosive devices that did not explode, nor were any of them thrown at anyone.

“I could’ve sworn they were going to do something with those things,” said one mainstream media journalist who was on site at one of the gatherings. “Whenever there is a large group of conservatives in one place, we’re always expecting the worst outcome. And once we noticed they were all holding something in their hands that was on fire, we assumed it meant some horrible act was about to be committed. But it didn’t. Things remained calm and peaceful. Shockingly so. If liberals were outraged, Molotov cocktails would be flying everywhere.”

One witness to a gathering described the scene. “I figured these conservatives were preparing to unleash horrible violence,” said the individual who asked to remain anonymous but did identify themselves as a Democrat. “That’s what we all know they do all the time. All violence, all the time. That’s a fact. And once one of their prominent leaders was killed, we expected bad things. But none of those things they were setting on fire were used to hurt anyone or burn any building down. They obviously don’t know how to riot.”

At publishing time, Democrats had also expressed dismay that Christians at these gatherings were praying for God to be merciful rather than to unleash fiery wrath on their political enemies.

From our friends at The Babylon Bee.