Publisher's Note: One of the most significant things you can do to promote Liberty is to support our mission. Please make your gift to the 2021 Year-End Campaign today. Thank you! —Mark Alexander, Publisher

L. Brent Bozell & Tim Graham / December 11, 2009

Frosty the Pervert?

Some memories that still define the warmest moments of American television are the long-running animated Christmas specials. There’s “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer” (first aired in 1964), “A Charlie Brown Christmas” (1965) and “Frosty the Snowman” (1969). Many grown-ups remember all of those shows once aired just on CBS.

So somehow, it’s still shocking that the soulless, cynical people running CBS today would find a way to trash that memory. An online video has surfaced called “Frosty the Inappropriate Snowman,” a mash-up of classic “Frosty” scenes (and clips from the less-than-classic 1992 cartoon “Frosty Returns”) along with a collection of audio graffiti – smutty sex lines voiced over by actor Neil Patrick Harris, a star of the CBS sitcom “How I Met Your Mother.”

At first, it might seem like other YouTube travesties where strangers crudely degrade Disney cartoons like “Aladdin” with dirty talk. But then sadly, it quickly becomes clear that this one was a corporate advertisement made by CBS itself in a cheap attempt to create a “viral video” sensation promoting its Monday night adult comedies.

Never has the “viral” in “viral video” seemed more of a perfect word. It is sick.

It turns out the Harris lines are actual quotes from the CBS show. The video begins with Frosty saying to a little girl, “We got to have a bros’ night at a strip club, and both of our ladies are totally cool with it. Because they understand that it’s healthy for us to do that from time to time. Because it’s harmless.” The little girl then asks, “Did one of your whores tell you that?”

Then, in a scene where Frosty’s coterie of children gathers around a train car, we hear “Open it! Open it! Open it! Open it!” The train car opens, and Frosty proclaims, “It’s my porn collection! … I’m giving you my porn.” In the next scene, he tells children, “That, my friend, is the Dominator 8000, the best bullwhip on the market! According to my whip guide. Yeah, I have a whip guide!”

Welcome to the Christmas cartoon “Frosty the Pervert.”

Well-known scenes of the classic Frosty delighting children by coming to life are ruined by Frosty saying, “I have been with a lot of women. Blondes. Brunettes. Redheads. Big boobs. Small boobs. Medium boobs. (We see a clip of Santa Claus.) Some boobs that were big, but kind of in a bad way.”

The newly crude snowman also encourages the little white rabbit in the cartoon to indulge his sexual fantasies: “You should have hit that. Dude, your pants were already off. You had a classroom full of people to cheer you on. And you can’t knock her up because it’s a dream.”

The Frosty-trashing lines were not limited to sex. The snowman was willing to punch anyone: “Come on, that’s my thing. I’m always punching guys. Girls. I’ll punch a baby. I don’t care.” Riding in Santa’s sleigh and waving, Frosty says, “My guy at the DA’s office scored us front-row seats to a lethal injection!” Why these lines are followed by a laugh track is a mystery.

CBS ends this awful promo with the on-screen line “Some Holiday Classics Are Better Left Untouched,” as if the irony gives them a free pass. Graphics promote the airing of the original “Frosty” cartoons on Dec. 18, along with the racy “How I Met Your Mother” on Mondays.

That was bad enough. But wait, there’s more. CBS also made another video with Charlie Sheen ruining “Frosty” clips with lines from another CBS Monday night smutcom, “Two and a Half Men.” We are once more treated to revolting dialogue, with Sheen’s fractured Frosty discussing the rash on his private parts; how he just had to pass gas; how the ancient Romans were great for their orgies and bulimia; and how he liked to pick up “do-able grandmas” and single mothers in the parking lot of Chuck E. Cheese restaurants.

Why do the sickos in Hollywood have to put their whips and chains and sordid brains all over every last acre of innocence? Why wage a war on childhood happiness, as if it were something that must be destroyed?


Start a conversation using these share links:

Who We Are

The Patriot Post is a highly acclaimed weekday digest of news analysis, policy and opinion written from the heartland — as opposed to the MSM’s ubiquitous Beltway echo chambers — for grassroots leaders nationwide. More

What We Offer

On the Web

We provide solid conservative perspective on the most important issues, including analysis, opinion columns, headline summaries, memes, cartoons and much more.

Via Email

Choose our full-length Digest or our quick-reading Snapshot for a summary of important news. We also offer Cartoons & Memes on Monday and Alexander’s column on Wednesday.

Our Mission

The Patriot Post is steadfast in our mission to extend the endowment of Liberty to the next generation by advocating for individual rights and responsibilities, supporting the restoration of constitutional limits on government and the judiciary, and promoting free enterprise, national defense and traditional American values. We are a rock-solid conservative touchstone for the expanding ranks of grassroots Americans Patriots from all walks of life. Our mission and operation budgets are not financed by any political or special interest groups, and to protect our editorial integrity, we accept no advertising. We are sustained solely by you. Please support The Patriot Fund today!


“Our cause is noble; it is the cause of mankind!” —George Washington

The Patriot Post is protected speech, as enumerated in the First Amendment and enforced by the Second Amendment of the Constitution of the United States of America, in accordance with the endowed and unalienable Rights of All Mankind.

Copyright © 2021 The Patriot Post. All Rights Reserved.

The Patriot Post does not support Internet Explorer. We recommend installing the latest version of Microsoft Edge, Mozilla Firefox, or Google Chrome.