The CIA claimed success in retarding Iran’s nuclear program Thursday, saying U.S. spies sneaked faulty supply parts into Iran’s nuclear supply chain. Many are upset. It’s unseemly for the CIA to pass out cigars every time we arrange a nuclear accident.

Secretary of State Hillary Clinton announced she will host Palestinian-Israeli peace talks in Washington D.C. Observers were surprised the Israelis agreed to come to the United States for the talks. You’d think they would insist on a neutral country.

The White House insisted Friday that President Obama is a Christian. He honors all religions. President Obama had a dinner on Ramadan, he set up a Christmas tree, and for Yom Kippur he’s going to give the Israelis permission to cross Iraqi airspace.

American Airlines began charging extra for earlier seating in coach Monday. It just never ends. Last night a guy went online thinking about booking a flight on American and they charged him one hundred dollars for thinking about booking a flight.

Iran celebrated its armed forces day Sunday by unveiling its first unmanned drone bomber that travels six hundred miles. The Iranian government named the drone the Ambassador of Death. So it proves that Iran has diplomatic relations with someone.

Larry King’s CNN exit stalled because Englishman Piers Morgan is having trouble getting a work visa. CNN is desperate to get the Obama administration to help. They just called Rod Blagojevich and asked him to name his price if he can make this happen.

Jimmy Carter flew to North Korea to try to free the American who entered North Korea illegally. It’s delicate. Jimmy Carter’s going to explain to North Koreans that by enforcing immigration laws they risk losing the Hispanic vote for generations.

President Obama picnicked with his family on the beach at Martha’s Vineyard on Monday. Several times he stretched out face- down on a towel and took a nap. Fox News choppers used GPS to see if he was facing Mecca and then reported he was praying.

Chinese News aired a sixty-mile-long freeway jam leading into Beijing Wednesday that’s lasted ten days. The same thing happened in L.A. sixty years ago and China shouldn’t worry. When the drivers run out of food and water they’ll just give up wherever they are on the road and form suburbs.

President Obama was annoyed by reporters assigned to cover him at Martha’s Vineyard Wednesday as he shopped in a local seafood market. They asked him a question about Iraq and he snapped that he was buying shrimp. He’s really had a taste for it ever since he was in Louisiana and the Secret Service wouldn’t let him eat any.

California’s Department of Health added pet frogs which people keep at home to the list of suspects for the salmonella outbreak. They’re the latest rage. People are buying frogs at pet stores and kissing them hoping they’ll turn into a job with benefits.

U.S. Marine General James Conway said Tuesday President Obama’s promise to voters to withdraw U.S. troops from Afghanistan by next July just encourages the Taliban to hold out. It was just a political promise to the voters. Kennedy wedding vows are more binding.

The London Sun reported that a German man had a bullet in his head for five years and didn’t know it until a doctor found it Wednesday. They think it fell from the sky on a New Year’s Eve. Germans fire their guns into the air every New Year’s Eve because the Allies forgot to include the sky in the terms of surrender.

© Copyright 2010 Argus Hamilton

Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood and speaks to groups and organizations around the country. E-mail him at [email protected].