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CDC Officially Changes COVID Guidelines to Whatever Your Uncle Frank Said About It Years Ago

WASHINGTON, D.C. — After a new meta-analysis of COVID data, the Center for Disease Control has updated its guidelines to just do what your hillbilly Uncle Frank said to do four years ago. “After tasking dozens of the best minds in science to review hundreds of studies, we have determined ... with your dying husband’ deal. Our bad.” According to sources, Uncle Frank had said the exact same thing back in 2020 when the whole COVID thing began. “Despite no formal medical or epidemiological training, Uncle Frank has somehow managed to continually stay a step ahead of the C.D.C.,” said researcher ... Dr. Stan Makowski. “Frank’s sage advice to ‘let 'em stick ya with that there vaccine only if COVID might kill ya’ has now been backed up by a large body of research. He also prophetically called for people to ‘forget about that dumb social distancing crap, just stay home

The Babylon Bee · March 4, 2024

The Discourse Destroyer

From speculating on the origins of COVID to the contents of Hunter Biden’s laptop, holding certain views can get one dubbed a conspiracy theorist. Anyone who speculated that the virus could have spread from the Wuhan Lab of Virology, which studied the coronavirus, was considered a xenophobic conspiracy theorist ... complete and shields these groups from the responsibility and agency that all members of the human race possess. Similarly, dubbing the potential origins of COVID-19 as a conspiracy theory eliminated any responsibility the Chinese Communist Party had in the outbreak of the pandemic. Labeling the Hunter Biden laptop “Russian

Caleb Nunes · March 4, 2024

Illegal Chinese Biolab in ... California?

the House Select Committee on the Chinese Communist Party, “thousands of samples of labeled, unlabeled, and encoded potential pathogens, including HIV, malaria, tuberculosis, and Covid.” The illegal operation was slapdash and definitely not up to code. It took several different agencies over 70 days to go in and clean up ... illegal biolab, a man named Jia Bei Zhu — a.k.a. Jesse Zhu, Qiang He, and David He (yes, several aliases) — was indicted for distributing bad COVID-19 tests throughout the United States through the cover companies UMI and Prestige Biotech Incorporated (PBI). He was also wanted in Canada for theft of ... biolab debacle. The mainstream media is also giving it the black-hole treatment. It’s just like the whole question of the origins of COVID-19 — was it the Wuhan Institute of Virology or the neighboring wet market? Most Americans now believe it was the institute and not the wet

Emmy Griffin · March 4, 2024

Leftist Bigots Unload on White Rural Voters

xenophobic, anti-immigrant, and anti-gay geodemographic group in the country. Second, they’re the most conspiracist group. QAnon support and subscribers, election denialism, COVID denialism and scientific skepticism, Obama birtherism. Third, anti-democratic sentiments. They don’t believe in an independent press, free speech. They’re most likely to ... the Right. Leftists are the ones who make everything about race and gender; deny the science of life in the womb, chromosomal DNA, and COVID response; intimidate and censor political opponents; deny, overturn, and rig elections; elect and cheer presidents who ignore the law to do whatever they want while

Nate Jackson · March 1, 2024

Cuomo: From Nursing Home Killer to Bimbo Enabler

all their ventilators to New York City — a disastrous idea — DeRosa blew up. (As we now know, ventilators were not merely useless for treating COVID, but often killed the patients.) DeRosa: “‘Who have you become?’ I asked in disgust. ‘I am embarrassed to be associated with you.’ ”‘What?’ Now she ... say. The way you defend Trump. … It’s embarrassing.’” – About Democratic state senator Alessandra Biaggi posting a tweet attacking Cuomo for not acting on COVID sooner — i.e. run-of-the-mill politicking — DeRosa writes: “Fuming, I sent a text, ‘You are both full of shit and a pretty terrible person ... play dirty.” – DeRosa says the Trump White House was probably “happy that the [BLM] protests had turned violent” and that Republican governors loved when COVID spiked in their states, seeing it as “badass.” Those are just a few examples of the generosity of spirit DeRosa extends to those she disagrees

Ann Coulter · February 29, 2024

Wednesday: Below the Fold

full time, as it is currently 50% on-site and 50% remote. Thus when Republican lawmakers ask when the IRS will finally end its COVID-induced teleworking system and get all agency employees back in the office full time, the expected response should be “immediately.” The agency is supposedly working ... good of the country, isn’t it? Here’s the rub, which is why the IRS has thus far refused to end its temporary COVID remote work system: It would not be able to hire the desired amount of employees should it require them to all come into the office

Douglas Andrews, Thomas Gallatin, & Jordan Candler · February 28, 2024

Government Censorship: How We Got Here

it against Donald Trump with Crossfire Hurricane, and four years later with the suppression of the Hunter Biden laptop story, as well as fighting COVID apostasy in 2020 and beyond. Since then, the Internet has done a 180 on free speech and has instead become a tool for speech suppression ... election, Benz nodded and said, “The two most censored events in human history, I would argue, to date, are the 2020 election and the COVID-19 pandemic.” That the 2020 election was rigged for Joe Biden should deeply trouble the masses, but by now it shouldn’t shock anyone. What

Douglas Andrews · February 22, 2024

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