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October 20, 2014

Obama Can’t Say Whether U.S. Has Outbreak of Ebola

Hey, just so you all know, Barack Obama is doublespeaking to the camera again. During his weekly address, he told everyone to just calm the heck down over Ebola. “First, what we’re seeing now is not an ‘outbreak’ or an ‘epidemic’ of Ebola in America. We’re a nation of more than 300 million people. To date, we’ve seen three cases of Ebola diagnosed here.” Not an outbreak. Got it. Obama then went on, talking about how it’s important to prevent people from getting the disease by keeping the borders open, what the all-powerful government is doing to keep all us sheeple safe, etc. Then he moved in for the kicker. “Before this is over, we may see more isolated cases here in America. But we know how to wage this fight. And if we take the steps that are necessary, if we’re guided by the science – the facts, not fear – then I am absolutely confident that we can prevent a serious outbreak here in the United States.” Serious outbreak? Just how will we get from “not an outbreak” to “serious outbreak”? Oh yeah… it all has to do with how you define things. According to good ol’ Merriam Webster, we could say an outbreak did occur. But we don’t have to be worried because our culture’s collective germaphobia is keeping us safe. More…

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