Grandstanding

“To my Republican colleagues who introduced this sham resolution: You honor me with your enmity. You flatter me with this falsehood. Your words tell me that I have been effective in the defense of our democracy, and I am grateful.” —Congressman Adam Schiff (D-CA)

Non Compos Mentis

“Next time some rich white person wants to take Sam Alito on an expensive trip, please take him to see the Titanic.” —MSNBC’s Elie Mystal

Dumb & Dumber

“I really don’t want to talk about [the vaccine] because, as a Republican, it’s not a great thing to talk about because, for some reason, it’s just not.” —Donald Trump, who fast-tracked the vaccine

“You’re not actually allowed to fire him, but I wouldn’t let that usually get in my way.” —Donald Trump on why he didn’t fire Anthony Fauci (“He should not be so proud of keeping Fauci around. Fauci was a menace to the truth. Talk about a fount of misinformation, it’s Anthony Fauci. More misinformation came out of the government than any other source. So he should have fired him.” —Senator Rand Paul)

Braying Jenny

“In the chaos created by all these conspiracy theories and other propaganda … a very simple point is getting lost: Republicans will do anything, say anything, and spend any amount of money to hide the basic truth that their leader is a criminal, corrupt, narcissistic buffoon. That’s why we’re still talking about Carter Page. That’s why anyone even knows who John Durham is. That’s why Republicans are still carrying on Mr. Durham’s work by launching frivolous investigations that end with them embarrassing themselves by propping up obvious lies. It has always been about gaslighting the country. So instead of holding these farcical hearing about farcical investigations, I urge my colleagues — my Republican colleagues — to get serious and start legislating on behalf of their constituents.” —Congresswoman Cori Bush (D-MO)

For the Record

“One can sometimes only marvel at the timing of coinciding events. Hours ahead of Special Counsel John Durham’s closed-door testimony before the House Intelligence Committee [Tuesday] afternoon and a day before his public testimony [Wednesday] with the House Judiciary Committee, Hunter Biden reached a sweetheart plea deal with his dad’s ‘Justice’ Department. Could there be a more clear picture of two-tiered justice?” —Nate Jackson

“Joe Biden is all about background checks and zero-tolerance policies and harsh penalties when it comes to gun sales, but when his son’s illegally purchased firearm ends up in a trash can across the street from a Delaware high school, welp, Hunter’s just a victim in all this. Thus, the first son is part of the ‘gun problem’ his dad refuses to address.” —Douglas Andrews

“[Hunter] Biden is being allowed to enter ‘pretrial diversion’ (essentially a counseling program) in lieu of being prosecuted for possession of a handgun by a user of illegal narcotics. That’s a federal felony, carrying a potential ten-year prison sentence, based on a statute that was shepherded through Congress by none other than then-senator Joe Biden during the Clinton administration.” —National Review

“The temptation to compare the light sentence Hunter Biden has received to the serious legal jeopardy Donald Trump currently faces in his federal indictment is inevitable. It’s worth remembering, though, if Trump had followed the advice of his lawyers, and simply returned all his illicit classified material, he wouldn’t have faced charges in the first place.” —National Review

“The next time you end up owing the IRS more than $1 million in back taxes, try asking for the Hunter Biden deal and see how that works out for you.” —Gary Bauer

Re: The Left

“Leftists have changed the definition of racism. It no longer means hating someone because of their race. Instead, one is racist or ‘the oppressor’ simply by being part of a privileged group. … There is no restoration with this definition of racism; by one’s very existence, they are either oppressor or oppressed, making it just as racist than the original definition of racism.” —Emmy Griffin

“If you are a DEI officer and your main goal is not to render your job obsolete as soon as possible, you are enacting the very definition of a grift.” —Erec Smith