The First Amendment protects most forms of speech. But did you know that there are certain things even the Constitution does not allow? It’s true. Here are 11 statements that can get you in trouble with the law:

1. “I disagree with the government.” - The First Amendment was not designed to protect speech criticizing our omnipotent rulers.

2. “The government lied to us.” - No, they didn’t, and you are going to jail.

3. “I kind of enjoy the Disney Star Wars films.” - This can actually get you deported, believe it or not.

4. “Baseball is boring.” - The Constitution does not protect this kind of un-American hate speech.

5. “Ohio is a real place.” - The Constitution does not protect this kind of misinformation.

6. “The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots & tyrants.” - The Founding Fathers never intended the Bill of Rights to protect this kind of extremist speech.

7. “Story time!” - If you start your TikTok with “story time,” you should be in jail.

8. “Arrested Development is overrated.” - James Madison was actually a huge AD fan and explicitly excluded this statement from First Amendment protections. We don’t know what you expected.

9. “I agree with some things the president does and disagree with other things he does.” - The Constitution does not protect nuance or intellectual consistency.

10. “That’s so cheugy, not bussin’, low-key no cap.” - Gen Z was not alive when the Constitution was written, so the Founders could not have known that there would be such a terrifying assault on free speech.

11. “I do not have the right to speak freely.” - This creates a paradox which could cause a resonance cascade scenario that rips interdimensional holes in the space-time continuum. So while technically not illegal, it’s ill-advised.

From our friends at The Babylon Bee.