The Silent Epidemic of Going ‘No Contact’
What’s behind the growing trend of Millennials and Gen Zers breaking off all contact with their parents?
A new silent epidemic is rapidly spreading through what most would classify as strong and loving homes — and even the parents who believe they’ve done everything right are not safe from its devastation.
An article in The Daily Wire shone light on the rising trend of Millennials and Gen Zers going “no contact” with their parents, and in many cases, their entire immediate family. The popularity of this movement is brought into focus with a couple of statistics: “On TikTok, the hashtag #ToxicFamily has 1.9 billion views. The hashtag #NoContact has 1.4 billion views.”
This issue of adult children cutting their parents out of their lives is not new. Many would agree that there are sometimes good reasons for grown children to distance themselves from a parent. Examples would include physical abuse, drug use, alcoholism, neglect, abandonment, and other forms of treatment where the parent failed to protect their child from harm, created a dangerous environment at home, or did not provide for their basic needs, such as food, clothing, and shelter. However, those are not the scenarios in question, and they do not seem to be among the reasons that most adult children today cite when making such a drastic decision.
That is, if you can get them to cite a reason at all.
An alarmingly common thread among what’s already a disturbing trend is how many parents have said that they have not only been ghosted by their adult child but that they have never been given an explanation as to why.
In July 2023, one mom of two middle-aged sons wrote of her personal experience with unexplained estrangement initiated by her adult children: “Nothing I’ve tried has worked, including asking my sons what I’ve done to hurt or make them angry and offering to pay a psychotherapist to mediate, only to be met by painful rejection. I’m at a loss to understand why.”
Other parents who are currently dealing with the same challenge might be lucky enough to get some semblance of an explanation, though these reasons often make little sense to those on the receiving end.
A YouTube creator, Diane, has dedicated her channel to offering peer support to parents facing this unimaginable trial. Within the opening seconds of her first video, she describes how prior to her daughter going “no contact,” she did receive a letter, which, in her mind, detailed a list of valid reasons for no longer maintaining a relationship with her mother. As Diane recounts that painful moment, she says, “Ninety percent of the letter was about politics, and how we couldn’t be in her life if we supported ‘that guy.’”
Yes, we are only getting one side of the story. However, considering the unfortunate reality of how contentious political differences have become in recent years, and that far too many relationships seem to have been severed due to a difference in views on today’s issues, it is not a far reach to believe that one’s political affiliation could be potent enough to drive a wedge between a child and a parent.
There are also several other elements to consider.
As the previously mentioned Daily Wire article points out, there are quite a number of prominent LGBTQ TikTok influencers who regularly give their target audience of young, confused teenagers advice on how to separate themselves from their family.
There is also the widely known fact that countless school districts across the country are dedicating hours of precious class time to teaching children about gender ideology — including policies that allow students to keep their classroom lessons and their identity hidden from their parents. In turn, students are being trained at a young age to view the relationship with their biological family as disposable and unimportant.
Queer theory, which serves as the basis for introducing children to the sexualized material that accompanies their lessons on gender, heavily emphasizes the objective of having students abandon those who brought them into this world — in exchange for the community.
It has also been alleged that there are woke therapists who will instruct their young adult patients to distance themselves from anyone who they feel is “toxic” in their lives, even if that person is a parent or loved one. This goes along nicely with the therapists who will willingly lead young children down a path toward mutilation of their anatomy or doctors who ignore the weight problems of their obese patients in the name of “positivity.”
Lastly, we have seen the immeasurable influence that social media has had on the critical thinking, analytical, and consequential thought processes of these next generations, as they use apps like Instagram and TikTok like oxygen. TikTok trends have persuaded young people to do irreversible harm to their own minds and bodies — whether it be to eat a Tide Pod, starve themselves, or participate in other dangerous challenges.
No, there is not a “no contact” challenge on TikTok. However, if young children who are trying to navigate their relationship with a parent who does not see eye-to-eye with them on every issue search for relatable TikTok stories under the “no contact” hashtag, they might find themselves immersed in a narrative that could distort the reality of their own childhood and experiences. After being pulled into the “no contact” algorithm and hearing numerous stories of others who have ghosted their parents for even the most trivial reasons, they could very well end up believing that isolating themselves from their primary support system suddenly makes sense.
Whatever the cause, there’s a rapidly growing surge in Gen Zers, and now Gen Alpha, choosing to close the door to the ones who sacrificed everything to love and raise them. If you are a parent who is facing this situation, know that you are not alone. Know that there is no shame in sharing your story and finding your own community to get you through the grief.
Based on today’s trajectory and the ideas being imposed on kids of all ages and at every turn, that support system might be needed sooner than anyone thinks.