“I’m not dead! I’m getting better! I feel fine! I think I’ll go for a walk! I feel happy!”

You may recall those lines from the hilarious sketch in “Monty Python and the Holy Grail,” in which the cart master comes to collect the bodies of Plague victims. A second man wants to be rid of a third man who’s still alive and protesting, so the cart master soon clubs the old man over the head and loads his now-dead body on the cart.

Maybe that’s too crass a reference to make two days after the death of Senator Lindsey Graham at age 71, but the subject of my story is Senator Mitch McConnell, and I couldn’t help but think of Monty Python. (That’s often true, actually.)

On Sunday, the 84-year-old McConnell finally issued a statement to answer the questions about where he’s been for the last month. “Folks of my generation often hesitate to share the vulnerability that comes with growing older,” he said in a statement. “Even in the public eye, I feel that same instinct — I can’t help it.”

He was “briefly unconscious” after a fall, and he dealt with a bout of pneumonia while being hospitalized since June 14. “My doctors have confirmed that I didn’t break any bones or suffer a concussion. I didn’t have a heart attack or a stroke. I don’t have any tumors or hemorrhages.” He says he’s “regaining my strength,” but he’s not ready to return to the Senate “quite yet.”

However, “I still have unfinished business to complete on your behalf,” McConnell told his fellow Kentuckians, “and I have every intention of finishing the job you elected me to do.”

He might even want to go for a walk.

Okay, sorry, I should have compassion. McConnell had polio as a kid, and walking has sometimes been a struggle ever since.

It has seemed for several years now that McConnell should step aside for health reasons. In 2023, I wrote about his strange episode of staring blankly and nonresponsively at a press conference. Answers about what happened were less than satisfactory. In February 2024, McConnell announced that he’d be stepping aside from his post as minority leader, but not until November 2024. Last year, he announced his pending retirement after this term.

I’ll always praise McConnell for holding firm after Justice Antonin Scalia’s death, waiting until the 2016 election to allow the newly elected president to nominate a replacement rather than letting Barack Obama replace a stalwart constitutionalist with Merrick Garland. It was a huge gamble that Donald Trump would beat Hillary Clinton, but — what do you know — it actually happened, and McConnell’s play was likely a deciding factor. Justice Neil Gorsuch and the nation will always be grateful.

Yet few politicians better exemplify the Swamp than McConnell. Indeed, everyone seemed to hate him for it.

Moreover, after four years of listening to the Leftmedia tell us that Joe Biden isn’t dead, feels happy, and wants to go for a walk, the least McConnell could have done was communicate. I understand his hesitation, but get over it — the radio silence was inexcusable.

Almost worse were the multiple Republicans and sympathetic media figures who publicly claimed to have spoken to McConnell, including conversations about national matters of import. Senate Majority Leader and McConnell protégé John Thune said the two had a “lengthy and substantive conversation that covered a variety of topics, including national security.” CNN contributor Scott Jennings, a longtime McConnell friend, said the pair “talked for just shy of 20 minutes … about IRAN, UKRAINE, the unfolding situation in MAINE, my visit to the TR Presidential Library, and even a little bit of Senate history.”

It all gave the feeling of coordinated phoniness.

As for McConnell’s belated statement, it came only after Leftmedia speculation about things like cardiac arrest and Democrat Kentucky Governor Andy Beshear sending a letter to McConnell’s office demanding a health update. “I am requesting the Senator provide an update on his current health status,” said Beshear. “Allowing speculation to continue in the media is not fair to the Senator or to Kentuckians, and my hope is that this provides him the opportunity to share the information in a transparent manner, direct from the source.”

Where were Democrats like Beshear between 2021 and 2024?

Speaking of Beshear, though, the Kentucky legislature recently passed a bill — and then overrode the governor’s veto of it — determining that the governor could not appoint a temporary replacement for a senator who dies or leaves office due to health. Instead, the governor could only call a special election as soon as possible.

The Senate has always been composed of older, wiser (ahem) folks, but recently it has become a senior living facility. According to The Washington Post, “Today, the 119th Congress is the third oldest in American history, and the three oldest in the nation’s history have all convened since 2017.” A third of current senators are over age 70, and six are over age 80. The inestimable Chuck Grassley is 92. The late Dianne Feinstein stubbornly held her Senate seat long after her health deteriorated to the point that her staff was making decisions for her. She died in office at age 90.

Obviously, it’s immensely difficult to let go of power and control, to hand the reins to the next generation. That’s human nature.

Voluntarily retiring from leadership (multiple times) is one of many things that made George Washington so remarkable. We could use more men and women who followed his example.

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