Democrats Agree to End Shutdown in Exchange for 15% Off Coupon to Cracker Barrel
“That was an offer no one in their right mind could pass up,” said Virginia Senator Tim Kaine.
Mamdani Dethrones Gavin Newsom as U-Haul’s Top Salesman
“I got into politics because I wanted to make a difference,” Mamdani said. “Today, I know I’ve succeeded.”
Nancy Pelosi Prepares for Sad Future of Outsider Trading
She’s now faced with the grim reality of having to trade stocks without insider info just like a regular peasant.
Zohran Mamdani Horrified to Discover He Now Has a Job
“I didn’t think this through,” Mamdani reportedly told one of his aides.
Embarrassed Democrats Admit They Can’t Remember Why They Shut the Government Down
“The shutdown must be about climate change or something else a lot more important-sounding.”
Can You Spot the Differences Between These Grokipedia and Wikipedia Articles?
Only the slightest differences, but they are there if you look closely.
AOC Tells Mom Giving Birth to Get a Real Job
“All you do is lay around,” Ocasio-Cortez reportedly said, admonishing a woman actively in labor.
America’s Obesity Crisis Solved as EBT Benefits Run Out
For the first time in decades, Americans are losing weight, and they owe it all to the government shutdown.
9 Historical Objects Trump Destroyed in the East Wing
Hillary Clinton’s box of cleaning cloths: How are people supposed to wipe their email servers now?
Republicans Donate $50 Million to Kamala 2028 Campaign
“Honestly, I can’t think of anyone better to give our money to. At least, not since Joe Biden is unavailable.”
10 Coolest Features of Trump’s New White House Ballroom
Kid Rock: He’ll actually just live there in the corner of the ballroom and perform whenever Trump asks him to.
Next ‘No Kings’ Protest to End by 4 PM So Everyone Can Get Home in Time for ‘Matlock’
According to experts, “Matlock” is the life and blood of the justice system, which is why he’s so appealing to the elderly.
White House Construction Crew Finds 1,357 More Cocaine Stashes
President Donald Trump was not shy about who he believed to be responsible. “Hunter Biden’s legacy lives on,” Trump said.
Here Are All The Things Accomplished by Last Weekend’s ‘No Kings’ Protests
Everyone will remember where they were and what they were doing when the “No Kings” protests changed the world.
SUCCESS: After Weekend of ‘No Kings’ Protests, America Will Now Still Not Have Any Kings
“There are still no monarchs. It’s a massive success.”
Top Opinion
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Hans von Spakovsky The Trump Case Is Finally Dead, but Fani Willis Left Fulton County Taxpayers on the Hook for Millions of Dollars
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Michael Reagan Exposing the Liberal Media’s Sloppy Hoaxes
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Michael Barone Closing the Door on Immigration? Not Yet.
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Gary Bauer Arrest Made
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Josh Hammer The Welcome Demise of Climate Change Catastrophism
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Victor Davis Hanson A Newsom Nihilist Nomination?
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David Harsanyi War Powers Are Dead
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Tim Graham Those Lazy, Hazy, Crazy Days of Skipping ‘Morning Joe’
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Mark Alexander Profiles of Valor: SSgt William Pitsenbarger (USAF)
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Erick Erickson At War With Cartels
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Allen West Sympathy for the Devil
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The Washington Stand On David, Drug Boat Strikes, and Leaving No Survivors
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The Babylon Bee Minnesota Vikings Change Name to Minnesota Somali Pirates
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