Academy Announces New Oscar Award ‘Most Likely to Be on Epstein List’
“There are just so many great contenders, people with incredible resumes of degeneracy and deviancy.”
Gavin Newsom Launches True Crime Podcast About How He Killed California
“This is bound to be the most horrifying story you’ve ever heard.”
The Federal Employee Unions’ List of 10 Demands to the Trump Administration
“Paid leave for the emotional trauma of being asked to work.”
A List of Some of the Things Government Employees Said They Accomplished Last Week
“Hid in the janitor’s closet from the DOGE guys.”
Stephen Miller Uses Sock Puppets to Explain Constitution to White House Press Corps
“I’m glad for the opportunity for a brief civics lesson with you and to help you all understand at your level.”
Trump Claimed, Without Evidence, That 2+2 Makes 4. Not So Fast, Experts Say.
“You can’t just go around claiming to have the answer to complex math equations without demonstrating how you came to that conclusion.”
10 Things Kash Patel’s FBI Will Be Investigating First
It’s about time we started getting answers to all of these mysteries.
10 Suspicious Names Still on Social Security Rolls
Elvis Presley, George Washington, Leeroy Jenkins, Obi-Wan Kenobi…
RFK Jr.’s New and Improved Food Pyramid
We’ll all be killing bears and doing shirtless push-ups in no time.
Canadian Hockey Fans Boo Their Future National Anthem
The loser nation then got absolutely smoked by their imminent conquerors.
Vance Speech Denouncing E.U. Censorship Censored by E.U.
The European Union warned Vance they would throw him in Auschwitz if he continued calling them “fascist.”
Congress Announces New Oversight Committee to Oversee Government Oversight Committee
“We will get to the bottom of whether or not the oversight committee is overseeing anything.”
Democrats Furious Republicans Trying to Control Government Just Because They Won Election
“Winning the election gives Republicans no right to run this country,” shouted Senator Elizabeth Warren at a protest.
10 Essential Things USAID Provides to Poor Kids in Foreign Countries
Contraceptives, subscriptions to Politico, rocket-propelled grenades, gay stuff…
Nation Asks if That Security Guy Can Please Just Follow Congress Around and Keep Them From Doing Anything Ever
“The country would be so much better off.”
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Ken Blackwell Cleveland Clinic Owes Patients Transparency and Accountability
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Allen West Rights vs. Privileges
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Hans von Spakovsky The Left Has No Respect for God, Country, or History — Including Patrick Henry
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Larry Elder Newsom Gaslights on ‘Latinx,’ the Budget, and His Minimum Wage Hike That Killed Jobs
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Cal Thomas Why Are Top Universities Getting Federal Money?
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Armstrong Williams Who Profits When Cities Burn? ActBlue, That’s Who.
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Ben Shapiro On Security Breaches and the Infamous Signal Chat
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Gary Bauer The Real Scandal
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