Right Analysis   /   Humor
The Babylon Bee / March 8, 2024

Biden Opens State of the Union by Saying Hello to Dianne Feinstein

Biden graciously escorted the apparent ghost of Dianne Feinstein to an empty chair, then returned to the lectern and launched into his speech.

The Babylon Bee / March 6, 2024

Dems Quietly Ask SCOTUS if They Can Ban Biden From Ballot

Kamala Harris was seen quietly slipping a crisp $20 bill under Chief Justice Roberts’s office door.

The Babylon Bee / March 4, 2024

CDC Officially Changes COVID Guidelines to Whatever Your Uncle Frank Said About It Years Ago

“Uncle Frank has somehow managed to continually stay a step ahead of the C.D.C.”

The Babylon Bee / March 1, 2024

Biden Visits Border to Cut Ribbon for Official Border Grand Opening

There were approximately 5,369 new migrants who crossed the border during Biden’s speech.

The Babylon Bee / February 28, 2024

Ronna McDaniel Hired as DNC Chair Due to Extensive Experience Defeating Republicans

Democrats are confident that McDaniel’s track record will give the party exactly the edge it needs.

The Babylon Bee / February 26, 2024

Aw: Gender Studies Grad Writes ‘Thank You’ in Latte for Plumber Who Paid for Her Student Loans

The hard-working plumber barely noticed how the barista graciously thanked him.

The Babylon Bee / February 23, 2024

Google Gemini Finally Draws White Man After Being Prompted to Generate Clarence Thomas

“We are pleased to see that Google’s AI recognizes that Clarence Thomas is a black face of white supremacy.”

The Babylon Bee / February 19, 2024

Kamala Harris Moves to Second Place in ‘Worst Diversity Hire of All Time’

“Wearing her dress backwards, what a coup de grace!”

The Babylon Bee / February 16, 2024

Devout Catholic Joe Biden Gives Up Cognitive Tests for Lent

Biden announced he was also considering giving up talking in coherent sentences and walking in a straight line.

The Babylon Bee / February 14, 2024

Kamala Seen Practicing Her Presidential Cackle

“When we need medicine, we need laughter. Medicine itself is highly medicinal and makes us feel better. And laughter is laughing.”

The Babylon Bee / February 12, 2024

White House Staffers Lock Nukes With New Security Question ‘Which of These Images Shows Mexico’

Staffers say this measure has nothing to do with Biden’s impeccable performance at the press conference last week.

The Babylon Bee / February 7, 2024

Is Your Date Transgender? 10 Signs to Look For

The Bee is here to help you determine your date’s true gender with the following list of signs to watch for.

The Babylon Bee / February 5, 2024

Joe Biden Sees Shadow, Attempts to Shake Its Hand

Biden also predicted another six weeks of “winterburgenphdtughergh.”

The Babylon Bee / February 2, 2024

Mayorkas Says He’s Not Sure How He Can Be Impeached When He Doesn’t Even Do Anything

“I have done literally nothing at all. How can that be a crime?”

The Babylon Bee / January 31, 2024

California Becomes First State to Ban Heterosexual Marriage

The law was met with celebration by everyone still living in California, as they were all gay already.

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