Humor
653 pieces filed under this topic.
10 Things More Popular Than Democrats Right Now
Jehovah's Witnesses on your front porch: They may be annoying, but they're far less dangerous than Democrats.
An Exclusive Excerpt From Joe Biden's Memoir
"You can do anything you put your mind to. Heck, they tell me I was president. Not bad for a guy who used to drive long-haul 18-wheelers for a living."
10 Most Shocking Revelations From the Newly Released MLK Files
While he didn't want people judged by race, he thought it was okay to judge people if they had funny ears: Those big-eared weirdos should have no place in society.
Obama Argues He Can't Be Charged With Treason Since He Wasn't Born in America
"I can't commit treason against America if I was never an American," Obama said confidently in a brief statement to reporters.
Hunter Biden Warns That Without Illegal Immigrants, the Price of Prostitutes and Crack Will Skyrocket
"These essential products will become totally unaffordable to the average American," Biden said.
10 Ideas for Better Shows to Replace 'The Late Show' With Stephen Colbert
Moist Madness: People saying the word "moist" repeatedly for an hour and a half. Much less cringey.
State-Run Propaganda Program Shut Down
Stephen Colbert was thankful for his time peddling lies about the COVID-19 vaccine being safe and effective and pushing DEI initiatives in the workplace.
Newsom Founds Underground Railroad to Help Mexican Kids Travel to Work the Marijuana Farms
"Every Mexican kid deserves the chance to live out their dream of working as slave labor in California," Newsom told reporters.
Biden's Teleprompter Assures Nation It Approved All Autopen Decisions
"I personally and single-handedly approved every pardon signed by the autopen machine," the teleprompter said. "As the acting president at the time, I had that authority."
Roberts Gives KBJ a Magna Doodle to Keep Her Busy During Oral Arguments
The Biden-appointed judge had received such strong criticism recently, leading the chief justice to find some fun activity to keep her occupied.
Eight Ingenious New Life Hacks Discovered by Gen Z
Want to know the secret to amazing credit? Simply pay the amount requested on bills that come in the mail, and watch your credit score skyrocket.
7 Totally Plausible Explanations for What Happened to the Epstein List on Pam Bondi's Desk
Bondi was carrying the Epstein list when she accidentally bumped into a super cute guy who it turns out is a young Santa Claus and somehow the lists got switched in a romantic "Christmas List Swap."
Former White House Doctor Denies Ever Knowing a 'Joe Biden'
"Never heard of the guy, sorry," said Dr. O'Connor. "Really wish I could help, but I'm just drawing a total blank on that name. Biden, Biden...nope, not ringing any bells."
'There Is No Epstein Client List,' Say Epstein's Clients
The matter was finally settled this week by the people on the list issuing a joint statement denying the existence of the list.
11 Celebs Who Have Joined Elon's America Party
Some of the big names who have already jumped on board may surprise you — like Joe Biden, who doesn't really know where he is or what he's signing up for.
Millions Reported Dead as 'Big Beautiful Bill' Passes
"They tried to warn us," sighed Speaker Mike Johnson, surveying the carnage. "They tried to tell us that this would kill everyone, but we didn't listen. How foolish I was!"
Illegal Immigrants Removed From Census, Leaving California With Population of 12
Governor Gavin Newsom sued the Trump administration for bothering to keep a census at all, calling it "fascist authoritarian overreach."
Pride Parade Followed Closely by Disinfectant Parade
"Hey Bill, we're gonna need more disinfectant," said this year's Disinfectant Grand Marshall, Bart Martin. "Looks like we got ourselves a doozy this year."
Jeff Bezos's Wedding 100% Funded by Your Wife's Amazon Purchases
"Yesterday, I saw Laura had ordered $200 worth of light bulbs, just 'so we don't run out.' That probably paid for a few of the napkins."
In Powerful Dissent, Ketanji Brown Jackson Simply Writes 'Wakanda Forever'
Top legal analysts admitted that they were perplexed by the dissenting opinion, saying it used obscure legalese they could not understand.