The Sunshine Protection Act passed the House yesterday by a vote of 308-117, and the bill now heads to the Senate, which passed the bill in 2022. President Donald Trump supports the measure, which would allow states to choose daylight saving time (DST) permanently.

Are we really on the cusp of ending the insane practice of changing our clocks twice a year? Is that the “Hallelujah Chorus” I hear?

As Ronald Reagan once said, it’s a time for choosing. Or for choosing a time. Whatever.

There might not be another issue on which so many Americans agree — we all hate the biannual time change. Totally disrupting the space-time continuum twice a year leads to sloppy work by sleepy people, car accidents and other injuries, hordes of zombie children, and a drastic increase in swearing. No rational human wants that to continue.

Yet the nation is also divided on what to do. Between two-thirds and three-quarters of Americans want to stop the ridiculous practice of changing our clocks every spring and fall, but they disagree on which time to choose. Depending on the poll, roughly 10-20% take the Stick-With-Insanity position.

I have written passionately in favor of permanent daylight time. Then again, I have written with equal gusto in favor of standard time. Both were tongue-in-cheek humor articles because the debate is so hilarious to me. For the love of all that is holy, just pick one and stay there.

So I flipped a coin to decide which position I’d take today, and daylight time was the winner. Everyone together now, Make Daylight Great Again!

But who am I kidding? I’m not actually in favor of permanent DST. A longer day with added daylight is a lie; daylight can only be redistributed. Besides, I’m a morning person, and I don’t want sunlight after 9:00 p.m. Go to bed, people. Turn down that infernal racket! Insert unintelligible curmudgeon grumble.

I also don’t want darkness in winter until 9:00 a.m. Arkansas Republican Senator Tom Cotton, for one, is with me. “By moving the clock back an hour in winter,” Cotton said, “permanent daylight saving time would push winter sunrises to an absurdly late hour, depriving Americans of morning sunshine that’s essential for our safety and well-being.”

Schoolchildren, parents, or teachers certainly don’t want to begin their day in darkness. “I think having kids go to school when it’s dark doesn’t make sense,” said Maryland Democrat Congressman Steny Hoyer. Fortunately, if we do adopt DST, I have a solution. Start the school day later. Mind-boggling, I know. What a novel idea to let kids get the sleep they need.

We already tried year-round daylight time in 1974. “That year, I think not coincidentally,” quips National Review’s Michael Brendan Dougherty, “America quickly suffered the killing spree of Ted Bundy, the kidnapping of Patty Hearst, and the Donna Lee Bakery murders.” In all seriousness, Congress repealed it before the year was out, primarily for all the school havoc.

The science is on the side of standard time, too. We all do and should put deep and unquestioning faith in experts, who have always earned our trust, of course, and sleep experts say that our bodies’ natural circadian rhythm functions better on standard time. Which probably explains a lot of cultural problems, given that “standard” time is only in effect for four months out of 12.

In Congress, the split was geographical. Coastal representatives favored permanent DST; Heartland representatives did not. (Hawaii and most of Arizona already do not observe DST.) Republicans and Democrats alike have intraparty divides — 22 Republicans and 95 Democrats opposed the bill.

Florida Republican Kat Cammack argued for the bill. “For decades, we have accepted this ritual of springing forward and falling back, even though it disrupts routines, throws off our sleep and creates unnecessary frustration for families across the country,” she said. “Let’s stop asking Americans to reset their clocks every March and November.”

Her Florida colleague, Maria Elvira Salazar, agreed: “More evening sunshine means more time with family and more time to enjoy our local restaurants, shops, and everything Florida has to offer. It’s common sense. Let’s get it done.”

I’ll make my peace with permanent daylight saving time, just as I would with year-round standard time. What I refuse to do is remain content with changing clocks twice a year.

So, here’s my final offer: Let’s split the difference by changing our clocks by 30 minutes and leaving it there. Who’s with me?

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