Furious Al Gore Seen Blowing Hair Dryer at Ice Caps to Stop Them From Regrowing
“We’re not all about to die? This is terrible news. Terrible, cataclysmic news. We cannot allow humanity to not be about to die.”
10 Ways Democrats Plan to Win Back Men
Use sports analogies in every political speech: “Men, we’re going to need to throw a Hail Mary from behind the 3-point line and strike out climate change with a mean Pick 6!”
Elon Musk Leaves Job of Making Government More Efficient for Much Easier Job of Sending Humans to Mars
“Working in government is a far more complicated and challenging job than inventing rockets capable of taking humans to other planets.”
Biden, Macron Team Up to Form Support Group for Battered and Abused World Leaders
“We’re going to help people. No, I’m serious. Not a joke, man. Think about it. My flimgizzdle has a chicken on the gribble, Jack.”
French President Macron Claims He Fell Down the Stairs Again
Macron’s latest spill down the steps occurred just as reports indicated that he had been physically accosted by his wife, Brigitte.
ChatGPT Announced as Harvard Valedictorian
“Over the past four years, ChatGPT has authored just north of 42,000 term papers, as well as countless research articles and a dozen marriage proposals.”
11 Statements That Are Not Protected by the First Amendment
There are certain things even the Constitution does not allow. Saying “I kind of enjoy the Disney Star Wars films” can actually get you deported, believe it or not.
No Tax on Tips Passes Senate Unanimously After Clarification That Bribes Can Count as Tips
“We are thrilled to support this measure,” said Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer. “Thanks to this new rule, a majority of our income as politicians will now be tax-free.”
10 Jobs That Are Totally Safe From Being Replaced by A.I.
If you are working in any of the jobs listed here, kick back and rest easy. If not… go ahead and start learning to code. Until A.I. takes all of the coding jobs.
Karine Jean-Pierre Insists Joe Biden Is Cancer-Free
“I want to be perfectly clear about this. Being diagnosed with cancer does not mean what everyone thinks it means. It means he has cancer, but that doesn’t necessarily mean he has cancer.”
Democrats Propose Building Wall to Keep White Immigrants Out
“The next thing you know, our entire country will be filled with these white foreigners. That would destroy all the work we’ve spent decades doing.”
10 Shocking Signs of Biden’s Decline Everyone Missed
Despite all evidence to the contrary, President Biden suffered severe physical and mental decline. Thank you, Jake Tapper, for finally uncovering the truth.
Here Are 8 Other Gifts World Leaders Are Giving to America
Who wouldn’t want to be on the receiving end of such great gifts?
Jake Tapper Uncovers Startling Evidence That Biden’s Decline Was Covered Up by Jake Tapper
“These allegations regarding Jake Tapper are disturbing,” said Jake Tapper.
More Winning: Here’s Everything Trump Scored in the China Trade Deal
President Trump really does know the art of the deal.
Top Opinion
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Mark Alexander Can Trump Move the Needle?
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Gary Bauer Honoring Angel Families
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John Stossel Trump Report Card
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Ian Haworth I Don’t Care if Alysa Liu Is Woke
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Byron York Is Time Running Out for Sanctuary Cities?
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Star Parker At America’s 250th Birthday, Democrats Want a Different Country
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Tim Graham Bari Weiss, the Latest Target of Antisemitic Campus Intolerance
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Ken Blackwell The Integrity of Information: Why VOA Persian Must Remain Independent
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