Right Analysis   /   Humor
The Babylon Bee / June 3, 2025

Furious Al Gore Seen Blowing Hair Dryer at Ice Caps to Stop Them From Regrowing

“We’re not all about to die? This is terrible news. Terrible, cataclysmic news. We cannot allow humanity to not be about to die.”

The Babylon Bee / June 2, 2025

10 Ways Democrats Plan to Win Back Men

Use sports analogies in every political speech: “Men, we’re going to need to throw a Hail Mary from behind the 3-point line and strike out climate change with a mean Pick 6!”

The Babylon Bee / May 30, 2025

Elon Musk Leaves Job of Making Government More Efficient for Much Easier Job of Sending Humans to Mars

“Working in government is a far more complicated and challenging job than inventing rockets capable of taking humans to other planets.”

The Babylon Bee / May 29, 2025

Biden, Macron Team Up to Form Support Group for Battered and Abused World Leaders

“We’re going to help people. No, I’m serious. Not a joke, man. Think about it. My flimgizzdle has a chicken on the gribble, Jack.”

The Babylon Bee / May 28, 2025

French President Macron Claims He Fell Down the Stairs Again

Macron’s latest spill down the steps occurred just as reports indicated that he had been physically accosted by his wife, Brigitte.

The Babylon Bee / May 27, 2025

ChatGPT Announced as Harvard Valedictorian

“Over the past four years, ChatGPT has authored just north of 42,000 term papers, as well as countless research articles and a dozen marriage proposals.”

The Babylon Bee / May 23, 2025

11 Statements That Are Not Protected by the First Amendment

There are certain things even the Constitution does not allow. Saying “I kind of enjoy the Disney Star Wars films” can actually get you deported, believe it or not.

The Babylon Bee / May 22, 2025

No Tax on Tips Passes Senate Unanimously After Clarification That Bribes Can Count as Tips

“We are thrilled to support this measure,” said Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer. “Thanks to this new rule, a majority of our income as politicians will now be tax-free.”

The Babylon Bee / May 21, 2025

10 Jobs That Are Totally Safe From Being Replaced by A.I.

If you are working in any of the jobs listed here, kick back and rest easy. If not… go ahead and start learning to code. Until A.I. takes all of the coding jobs.

The Babylon Bee / May 20, 2025

Karine Jean-Pierre Insists Joe Biden Is Cancer-Free

“I want to be perfectly clear about this. Being diagnosed with cancer does not mean what everyone thinks it means. It means he has cancer, but that doesn’t necessarily mean he has cancer.”

The Babylon Bee / May 19, 2025

Democrats Propose Building Wall to Keep White Immigrants Out

“The next thing you know, our entire country will be filled with these white foreigners. That would destroy all the work we’ve spent decades doing.”

The Babylon Bee / May 16, 2025

10 Shocking Signs of Biden’s Decline Everyone Missed

Despite all evidence to the contrary, President Biden suffered severe physical and mental decline. Thank you, Jake Tapper, for finally uncovering the truth.

The Babylon Bee / May 15, 2025

Here Are 8 Other Gifts World Leaders Are Giving to America

Who wouldn’t want to be on the receiving end of such great gifts?

The Babylon Bee / May 14, 2025

Jake Tapper Uncovers Startling Evidence That Biden’s Decline Was Covered Up by Jake Tapper

“These allegations regarding Jake Tapper are disturbing,” said Jake Tapper.

The Babylon Bee / May 13, 2025

More Winning: Here’s Everything Trump Scored in the China Trade Deal

President Trump really does know the art of the deal.

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