12 Changes Trump Would Make as Pope
Sounds like Trump’s Papacy will be even more Catholic than Francis’ was.
Democrats Show Solidarity With MS-13 by Getting New Face Tattoos
“Let there be no doubt who we are fighting for. It’s literally tattooed on our faces.”
Democrats Hold Candlelight Vigil in Front of Illegal Immigrant Mugshots
“The country simply won’t be the same without them,” said Senator Elizabeth Warren.
Joe Biden Arrested for Harboring 11 Million Illegal Aliens
“We’re pretty sure it’s a record,” said FBI Director Kash Patel.
9 Exciting New Dye-Free Foods Coming in the Wake of RFK’s Ban
Expect far less diversity among your candy-coated chocolates.
Democrats Begin Chugging Artificial Food Dyes to Protest RFK
“Poisoning our population is part of the fabric of America.”
10 People We’d Like to Launch Into Space
Anyone who uses the term “fur baby.”
10 Reasons Women Make Better Astronauts Than Men
We hope this educational article will help you not underestimate female astronauts in the future.
Gretchen Whitmer Sneaks Into White House Again
The burqa-clad visitor left the White House without speaking to reporters.
7 Surprising Findings From Trump’s Physical
His blood type came back USA-positive.
Democrats Worried Trump May Not Have China’s Best Interests at Heart
“Having a U.S. president who seems to be so preoccupied with doing what’s best for the U.S. is a dangerous precedent to set.”
Here Are the Products Most Affected by Tariffs in Each Country
Not all products are affected equally.
China Retaliates Against Tariffs By Putting Worse Fortunes Into Cookies
Trump remains committed to the tariffs no matter how belligerent the fortune cookie messages may become.
10 Major Effects of Trump’s Tariffs
“The Galactic Trade Federation might send an army of battle droids to Earth.”
Genius Trump Tricks Democrats Into Hating Taxes
“Taxes are fascism!” said several paid Democrat protestors outside the White House.
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