Columnist.
President Obama went to Ground Zero in New York City to mark Osama bin Laden's death. So much has changed in the past ten years. Bush said we will get whoever did this, and Obama said we will give whoever did this a culturally sensitive funeral.
President Obama was ripped by carnival barkers after he compared Donald Trump to them. Carnival barkers lure people to come into your store and spend their cash. Leave it to Obama to be out there belittling the one talent that can save the economy.
President Obama appeared before reporters Wednesday and produced a long form Hawaii birth certificate from fifty years ago. There's no doubt about the authenticity of the birth certificate. It lists his name, his birthdate and his number of Twitter followers.
Senate Democrats blamed the massive federal budget deficits on Republican tax cuts last Friday in TV interviews. They said the wealthy aren't paying enough taxes to meet the nation's needs. Democrats believe it is okay to be rich as long as you just feel awful about it.
India risked a trade war by banning the import of all Japanese fish to India due to the radiation. It hurts workers in both countries. Japan retaliated by announcing they will build all their computers so perfectly there will never be any need for tech support.
The Bronx Zoo had to be shut down Monday after a highly poisonous cobra escaped and crawled into New York. It got a lot of attention. The surest sign yet that the economy is recovering is that the snakes are leaving their nests and heading back to Wall Street.
President Obama returned home from a trip to South America Wednesday. While in Chile he paid a surprise visit to a grade-school history class. The children explained to the president the dangers of going into war with no clear goal and no clear exit strategy.
Japan's earthquake was upgraded to nine points on the Richter Scale by Cal Tech seismologists Thursday. It moved the whole country eight feet to the west. Now Republicans can never refute Obama if he claims that Japan and China came closer together during his administration.
The White House vowed to work with Congress to cut waste in spending after two GAO reports came out. The reports said it all. The first report said the U.S. spends ten billion a year on fifteen redundant government programs and the second report said the U.S. government spends ten billion a year on fifteen redundant government programs.
IBM said Tuesday its Jeopardy-champion computer Watson is not going to be used to replace an IBM scientist or IBM engineer. A company spokesman said that although Watson knows almost everything, he can't think. So they're going to run him for Congress.
Arizona sheriffs demanded that Homeland Security build a border fence in Arizona. A fence can be partially successful. California's twenty-foot high border fence hasn't stopped illegal aliens from reaching U.S. soil but it's left them slightly winded.
CIA Director Leon Panetta guessed wrong last Thursday telling Congress that Mubarak would resign that day. He vowed to improve the intelligence-gathering capacity at CIA headquarters. The next day, he told the General Services Administration that every office at the CIA must have cable television no matter what it costs.
Homeland Security's Janet Napolitano told Congress the U.S. faces a terror threat. She said she tightened airport security to keep terrorists out of the country. If they want to come to the United States they'll have to fly to Mexico and walk across like everybody else.
Senate Republicans introduced a bill to repeal ObamaCare Wednesday after a U.S. judge ruled health care reform unconstitutional. People are genuinely worried. If a president can order you to buy health insurance, the first lady can make you eat broccoli.
President Obama vowed in his State of the Union speech to settle the problem of illegal aliens once and for all. He'd like them to be legal by the next election. By the election after that they'll own their own homes and businesses and vote Republican forever.
Barack Obama angered people in both Britain and the U.S. Wednesday when he told Nicolas Sarkozy that the U.S. has no better friend than France. Britain fights with us in Afghanistan but France needs our help with their food prices. The reason Obama's a Democrat is because he only likes people who need, not people who fight.
Arizona's new immigration law went into effect on New Year's Day, cracking down on employers. It's now illegal for companies to hire or entice illegal aliens to work for them. For instance, UPS can no longer ask in its commercials what brown can do for you.
WikiLeaks' Julian Assange agreed to write his memoirs for one million dollars. He hacked into U.S. government computers and revealed every U.S. government secret to the world. This is the biggest invasion of privacy since the invention of Facebook.
Bill Clinton said Friday he favors same-sex marriage today even though he opposed same-sex marriage when he was president. Forget the logic. Gay groups won't accuse him of inconsistency because, to be fair, he opposed his own marriage when he was president.
