Right Analysis   /   Humor
The Babylon Bee / October 6, 2025

Cruel: IDF Forces Give Greta Thunberg Dry Sub Sandwich With No Mayo

“We are suffering greatly as we try to choke down these dry sandwiches the Jewish terrorists gave us,” said Thunberg.

The Babylon Bee / October 3, 2025

Dems Call for Commonsense Sombrero Control

Schumer unveiled a proposal which aims to limit the capacity of sombreros that can be added to a video and create a waiting period for those wanting to access sombrero graphics.

The Babylon Bee / October 2, 2025

7 Most Terrifying Consequences of a Government Shutdown

AOC will have to go back to bartending, but she doesn’t know how to make a rum and coke: It’s a tough recipe.

The Babylon Bee / October 1, 2025

10 Changes Hegseth Is Making to Military Health Requirements

Must consume a minimum of 7 pounds of beef per day: This does not include the expected daily supplements of raw bovine liver.

The Babylon Bee / September 30, 2025

‘We Don’t Need Help Against Antifa,’ Announces Portland Mayor Currently on Fire

“Antifa is just an idea. And though members of that idea have just lit me on fire, I want to make it clear that we will not stand for military troops being deployed.”

The Babylon Bee / September 29, 2025

7 Ways To Treat Your Headache Without Dangerous Tylenol

Travel to Canada for healthcare: They’ll probably recommend euthanasia. But at least you definitely won’t feel your headache after that.

The Babylon Bee / September 25, 2025

Kamala Does Speaking Tour to Remind Nation Why Trump Is President

“Remembering is important because of how important it is to remember. And by remembering, we are reminded of what we are remembering.”

The Babylon Bee / September 24, 2025

7 Causes of Autism Newly Revealed by RFK Jr.

Mixing a mouthful of Pop Rocks with Dr. Pepper: Dangerous. And now known to be super autism-causing.

The Babylon Bee / September 23, 2025

AOC Loses Debate Against Cardboard Cutout of Charlie Kirk

Despite her best efforts, AOC simply could not outclass the piece of cardboard set up to oppose her.

The Babylon Bee / September 22, 2025

7 Great New Jobs for Jimmy Kimmel

Furniture store “Going Out Of Business” sign holder: You twirl that sign like your life depends on it, Jimmy.

The Babylon Bee / September 9, 2025

Navy Airdrops Public Defender Onto Drug Boat to Give Cartel Members Due Process

“We’ve heard the outrage and we’re taking steps to do what’s right.”

The Babylon Bee / September 8, 2025

10 Other Departments Trump Is Renaming

Department of Homeland Security: From now on, to be known as the Department of the Big, Beautiful Wall.

The Babylon Bee / September 5, 2025

9 Most Surprising Things You Can Get Arrested for in the UK

Refusing to face toward Mecca when you hear the call to prayer: You intolerant monster.

The Babylon Bee / September 4, 2025

Hunter Biden Tells Dad He’s Going to Need a New Boat

His prior boat apparently caught fire and exploded while going on a little outing through the southern Caribbean.

The Babylon Bee / September 3, 2025

10 Irrefutable Signs Trump’s Health Is Declining

Trump has been occasionally posting in lowercase on social media, and his posts have been more coherent: This is not normal.

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