17 Signs of Poverty in a Capitalist Country
“You can only afford the $7000 nosebleed seats for a Taylor Swift concert.”
More Accurate Wedding Vows for Him and Her
Adding these new vows will really bring weddings into the 21st century.
13 More People Biden Is Considering Pardoning
Hunter Biden may be the least controversial criminal receiving a pardon.
75% of Elves Laid Off After Elon Musk Visits North Pole
“Bloat is the enemy of efficiency,” he said.
Trump Announces Plan to Annex Canada and Rename It ‘Gay North Dakota’
Experts predicted they would be far too polite to raise any opposition to the idea.
10 Drastic Changes Kash Patel Will Make To FBI
Here are just a few of the most incredible.
Biden Forced To Issue Another Pardon After Hunter Commits 17 More Crimes
“Listen up, folks… everybody makes mistakes. Hunter is the finest and most intelligent man I’ve ever known.”
America Starting to Think This ‘Joe Biden’ Guy Might Be a Liar
“I’m beginning to think he may, on occasion, not be totally honest,” said local woman Amy Smith.
9 Things Public Schools Won’t Tell You About the First Thanksgiving
The turkey was carved by none other than a young Joe Biden.
Musk Announces Plan to Buy MSNBC and Turn It Into a News Network
“This would be like buying Taco Bell and turning them all into high-end steakhouses.”
America Is Toast: Here Are 9 More A-List Celebs Who Are Leaving
We will not survive this loss of creative genius.
Cheer Up, Libs: Here Are 10 Things You Can Still Be Thankful for This Year
We hope these ten things will get you through the next four years.
Here’s How 14 Different News Outlets Are Covering the ‘Trump Dance’ Craze
“Do you know who else danced? Adolf Hitler.”
Kamala Asks Biden to Stop Doing Trump Dance in Cabinet Meetings
Harris also asked Biden to refrain from wearing his “TRUMP 2024” baseball cap around the White House.
9 Things RFK Jr. Plans to Do on Day One to Make America Healthy Again
After implementing these simple measures, America will be fit, trim, and healthy in no time.
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