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Right Analysis   /   Humor
The Babylon Bee / May 23, 2025

11 Statements That Are Not Protected by the First Amendment

There are certain things even the Constitution does not allow. Saying “I kind of enjoy the Disney Star Wars films” can actually get you deported, believe it or not.

The Babylon Bee / May 22, 2025

No Tax on Tips Passes Senate Unanimously After Clarification That Bribes Can Count as Tips

“We are thrilled to support this measure,” said Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer. “Thanks to this new rule, a majority of our income as politicians will now be tax-free.”

The Babylon Bee / May 21, 2025

10 Jobs That Are Totally Safe From Being Replaced by A.I.

If you are working in any of the jobs listed here, kick back and rest easy. If not… go ahead and start learning to code. Until A.I. takes all of the coding jobs.

The Babylon Bee / May 20, 2025

Karine Jean-Pierre Insists Joe Biden Is Cancer-Free

“I want to be perfectly clear about this. Being diagnosed with cancer does not mean what everyone thinks it means. It means he has cancer, but that doesn’t necessarily mean he has cancer.”

The Babylon Bee / May 19, 2025

Democrats Propose Building Wall to Keep White Immigrants Out

“The next thing you know, our entire country will be filled with these white foreigners. That would destroy all the work we’ve spent decades doing.”

The Babylon Bee / May 16, 2025

10 Shocking Signs of Biden’s Decline Everyone Missed

Despite all evidence to the contrary, President Biden suffered severe physical and mental decline. Thank you, Jake Tapper, for finally uncovering the truth.

The Babylon Bee / May 15, 2025

Here Are 8 Other Gifts World Leaders Are Giving to America

Who wouldn’t want to be on the receiving end of such great gifts?

The Babylon Bee / May 14, 2025

Jake Tapper Uncovers Startling Evidence That Biden’s Decline Was Covered Up by Jake Tapper

“These allegations regarding Jake Tapper are disturbing,” said Jake Tapper.

The Babylon Bee / May 13, 2025

More Winning: Here’s Everything Trump Scored in the China Trade Deal

President Trump really does know the art of the deal.

The Babylon Bee / May 12, 2025

Hero: Bernie Sanders Buys Another House to Make Sure the Rich People Don’t Get All of Them

“I am willing to take this hit for our cause.”

The Babylon Bee / May 9, 2025

Bernie Sanders Unveils His New Gold-Encrusted ‘Beat the Oligarchy’ Dirigible

“You expect me to just wait in line at the airport like everyone else? No, that’s not practical.”

The Babylon Bee / May 8, 2025

10 People Trump Is Sending to the Reopened Alcatraz

America is guaranteed to be a safer, brighter place with these terrifying people locked up behind bars.

The Babylon Bee / May 7, 2025

Trump to Expand Alcatraz by Putting Up Fence Around San Francisco

“We’re going to create one big, beautiful prison city, just like the British did with Australia.”

The Babylon Bee / May 6, 2025

Trump’s To-Do List for His Next 100 Days: What to Expect

Order the National Science Foundation to determine if 100 men can really defeat a gorilla.

The Babylon Bee / May 5, 2025

9 Deadly Consequences of Defunding NPR

NPR may have to resort to reporting real news.

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