Right Analysis   /   Humor
The Babylon Bee / August 8, 2025

Trump Gerrymanders U.S. to Include Canada

The savvy political maneuver solves the trade deficit while also creating one supercountry that possesses the largest maple syrup reserve in the world.

The Babylon Bee / August 7, 2025

Top 10 Quotes From Kamala’s New Book

“A Moscow Mule is three parts ginger beer, one part lime juice, and the rest is vodka. If you don’t taste the vodka, you’re doing it wrong.”

The Babylon Bee / August 5, 2025

Fake Indian Endorses Real Indian

“As a pretend Indian, I am honored to endorse a for real one,” Elizabeth Warren told reporters. “I completely and thoroughly offer my support to Zohran Mamdani.”

The Babylon Bee / August 4, 2025

Awkward: Obama, Hillary Hire Same Hitman to Kill Each Other

The two political figures were allegedly compelled to target each other as more information related to the Trump-Russia collusion hoax was declassified.

The Babylon Bee / August 1, 2025

Kamala Announces She Will Step Away From Politics to Spend More Time With Vodka

“See vodka, it’s like a drink. It comes in a bottle, and you pour it into a glass, and then you drink it.”

The Babylon Bee / July 31, 2025

Federal Judge Orders Sydney Sweeney to Gain 100 Pounds and Get One of Those Butch Haircuts

At publishing time, Judge Bauer issued an additional ruling requiring Sweeney to get a septum piercing and a face tattoo.

The Babylon Bee / July 30, 2025

Obama Presidential Library Design Faces Criticism

The center sits on 19 acres, featuring a fruit and vegetable garden, an events facility, and a giant castle that holds the secrets to conquering the entire universe.

The Babylon Bee / July 29, 2025

10 Things More Popular Than Democrats Right Now

Jehovah’s Witnesses on your front porch: They may be annoying, but they’re far less dangerous than Democrats.

The Babylon Bee / July 28, 2025

An Exclusive Excerpt From Joe Biden’s Memoir

“You can do anything you put your mind to. Heck, they tell me I was president. Not bad for a guy who used to drive long-haul 18-wheelers for a living.”

The Babylon Bee / July 25, 2025

10 Most Shocking Revelations From the Newly Released MLK Files

While he didn’t want people judged by race, he thought it was okay to judge people if they had funny ears: Those big-eared weirdos should have no place in society.

The Babylon Bee / July 24, 2025

Obama Argues He Can’t Be Charged With Treason Since He Wasn’t Born in America

“I can’t commit treason against America if I was never an American,” Obama said confidently in a brief statement to reporters.

The Babylon Bee / July 23, 2025

Hunter Biden Warns That Without Illegal Immigrants, the Price of Prostitutes and Crack Will Skyrocket

“These essential products will become totally unaffordable to the average American,” Biden said.

The Babylon Bee / July 22, 2025

10 Ideas for Better Shows to Replace ‘The Late Show’ With Stephen Colbert

Moist Madness: People saying the word “moist” repeatedly for an hour and a half. Much less cringey.

The Babylon Bee / July 21, 2025

State-Run Propaganda Program Shut Down

Stephen Colbert was thankful for his time peddling lies about the COVID-19 vaccine being safe and effective and pushing DEI initiatives in the workplace.

The Babylon Bee / July 18, 2025

Newsom Founds Underground Railroad to Help Mexican Kids Travel to Work the Marijuana Farms

“Every Mexican kid deserves the chance to live out their dream of working as slave labor in California,” Newsom told reporters.

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