The Patriot Post: America's News Digest

Right Analysis / Humor

Humor / The Babylon Bee / October 28, 2025

9 Historical Objects Trump Destroyed in the East Wing

Hillary Clinton’s box of cleaning cloths: How are people supposed to wipe their email servers now?

Humor / The Babylon Bee / October 27, 2025

Republicans Donate $50 Million to Kamala 2028 Campaign

“Honestly, I can’t think of anyone better to give our money to. At least, not since Joe Biden is unavailable.”

Humor / The Babylon Bee / October 24, 2025

10 Coolest Features of Trump’s New White House Ballroom

Kid Rock: He’ll actually just live there in the corner of the ballroom and perform whenever Trump asks him to.

Humor / The Babylon Bee / October 23, 2025

Next ‘No Kings’ Protest to End by 4 PM So Everyone Can Get Home in Time for ‘Matlock’

According to experts, “Matlock” is the life and blood of the justice system, which is why he’s so appealing to the elderly.

Humor / The Babylon Bee / October 22, 2025

White House Construction Crew Finds 1,357 More Cocaine Stashes

President Donald Trump was not shy about who he believed to be responsible. “Hunter Biden’s legacy lives on,” Trump said.

Humor / The Babylon Bee / October 21, 2025

Here Are All The Things Accomplished by Last Weekend’s ‘No Kings’ Protests

Everyone will remember where they were and what they were doing when the “No Kings” protests changed the world.

Humor / The Babylon Bee / October 20, 2025

SUCCESS: After Weekend of ‘No Kings’ Protests, America Will Now Still Not Have Any Kings

“There are still no monarchs. It’s a massive success.”

Humor / The Babylon Bee / October 17, 2025

Here’s How 12 Different News Outlets Covered Trump’s Gaza Peace Deal

“We Retract Our Previous Article Reporting Trump Killed Eleventy-Billion Gazan Children With His Bare Hands.”

Humor / The Babylon Bee / October 16, 2025

Clarence Thomas Gently Explains to KBJ That Not All Black People Are Mentally Disabled, Just Her

“You having an exceptionally low IQ has absolutely nothing to do with your skin color, Ketanji. You’re just an idiot.”

Humor / The Babylon Bee / October 15, 2025

Democrats Vow to Keep Government Shut Down Until Someone Notices

“Eventually somebody will surely notice that the government is shut down. Right? We just need to be patient.”

Humor / The Babylon Bee / October 13, 2025

Trump Retaliates for Peace Prize Snub With Picture of the Nobel Committee in Sombreros

“When you snub someone so badly, you deserve to become a meme.”

Humor / The Babylon Bee / October 10, 2025

Greta Thunberg Awarded Nobel Prize for Ending the War in Gaza

“There has never been a greater hero for peace. It was all Greta.”

Humor / The Babylon Bee / October 9, 2025

James Comey Produces Letter Signed by 51 Former Intelligence Officials Saying He’s Totally Innocent

“This is rock-solid proof of my innocence,” Comey told the court as he held up the letter.

Humor / The Babylon Bee / October 8, 2025

Chicago Mayor Hoping His ICE-Free Zones Work Better Than His Gun-Free Zones

“Let’s stay positive, people. Signs can work. Just not for guns, apparently.”

Humor / The Babylon Bee / October 7, 2025

9 Terrifying Changes Bari Weiss Is Making at CBS News

It appears Weiss is about to unleash a veritable journalist’s holocaust over at CBS. We wish those poor reporters well.

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