Tim Walz’s Dog Endorses Trump
“Bark!” said Scout in a statement. “Woof!” said Scout, doubling down on his position.
10 Ways Kamala Addresses Crowds of Different Races
“For an Italian-American crowd, shout ‘Mamma mia! Let’s-a-go vote for-ah Kamala!’”
‘What Do YOU Think My Policies Might Be?’ Kamala Harris Asks CNN’s Dana Bash During Interview
Bash was reportedly stunned by the genius of the retort.
Kamala Explains 93% of Staff Quit Because They Couldn’t Handle the Joy
“They quit because they are literally overdosing on joy.”
Post Office Issues New Commemorative Kamala Harris ‘Fweedom’ Stamp
“Without that voice in the stroller proclaiming ‘fweedom’ in Selma, we might not be where we are today as a country.”
RNC vs. DNC: A Comparison
Who would have guessed that the two parties would have so much in common?
Eight Harrowing War Stories From Tim Walz, the Man Who Was There
These stories are nearly impossible to believe, but he swears they are true.
DNA Test Reveals Kamala Harris Actually 98% Vodka
It was previously thought that such incredible levels of vodka were incompatible with human life.
Hillary Clinton Meets With Kamala to Help Her Improve Her Black Accent
When Clinton offered her expertise, Harris said she just couldn’t refuse.
‘Sorry, No Refunds,’ Says Hunter Biden to All the Foreign Governments That Sent Him Bribes
“Ugh, what am I going to do with this painting now?” the Supreme Leader of Iran said.
Biden Wakes Up From Nap, Asks if He Missed Anything
“Anything happen while I was out? Nothing? Geez, you guys sure are quiet.”
Revealed: Biden’s Nickname for Each Member of His Administration
Take a look and see how Biden really thinks about his inner circle.
How CNN Reported 7 Famous Assassinations Throughout History
Thanks for all your hard work through the years, CNN!
In Brief: Biden vs. the Almighty
Satire: Biden says he will not allow elites like God Almighty to push him around.
Media Who Refused to Report on Biden’s Decline Furious That Nobody Reported on Biden’s Decline
“Whose job was it to report about this?!” demanded CNN correspondent Jim Acosta.
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