7 Causes of Autism Newly Revealed by RFK Jr.
Mixing a mouthful of Pop Rocks with Dr. Pepper: Dangerous. And now known to be super autism-causing.
AOC Loses Debate Against Cardboard Cutout of Charlie Kirk
Despite her best efforts, AOC simply could not outclass the piece of cardboard set up to oppose her.
7 Great New Jobs for Jimmy Kimmel
Furniture store “Going Out Of Business” sign holder: You twirl that sign like your life depends on it, Jimmy.
Navy Airdrops Public Defender Onto Drug Boat to Give Cartel Members Due Process
“We’ve heard the outrage and we’re taking steps to do what’s right.”
10 Other Departments Trump Is Renaming
Department of Homeland Security: From now on, to be known as the Department of the Big, Beautiful Wall.
9 Most Surprising Things You Can Get Arrested for in the UK
Refusing to face toward Mecca when you hear the call to prayer: You intolerant monster.
Hunter Biden Tells Dad He’s Going to Need a New Boat
His prior boat apparently caught fire and exploded while going on a little outing through the southern Caribbean.
10 Irrefutable Signs Trump’s Health Is Declining
Trump has been occasionally posting in lowercase on social media, and his posts have been more coherent: This is not normal.
Newsom Announces He Is Anti-Crime Until Next Election
“We all know how much I love crime, but I’ve decided to temporarily reverse that stance.”
Britain Announces Reverse Crusade Where They Invite Muslims to Come and Destroy England
“We’re flipping the script,” said UK Prime Minister Keir Starmer.
Genius Trump Enacts Plan to Dumb Down Chinese Population by Inviting Them to Attend American Universities
“It’s an amazing move by Trump.”
Taylor Swift Engagement Overturned as Referee Determines Travis Kelce’s Knee Didn’t Touch the Ground
“This proposal is a false start, and the couple is now broken up.”
Mayorship of New York to Be Awarded to First Candidate Who Can Bench Press the Bar
The contest promises to be exciting, with oddsmakers giving Zohran Mamdani a fifty percent chance of dying.
10 Most Shocking Discoveries From the John Bolton FBI Raid
Donald Trump voodoo doll: Sources said there was evidence of over 500 needle pokes.
Trump Orders Smithsonian to Display Exhibit of Old Cracker Barrel Logo
“We must never forget this beautiful American logo,” Trump said to cheers from his supporters.
Top Opinion
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Hans von Spakovsky The Trump Case Is Finally Dead, but Fani Willis Left Fulton County Taxpayers on the Hook for Millions of Dollars
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Michael Reagan Exposing the Liberal Media’s Sloppy Hoaxes
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Michael Barone Closing the Door on Immigration? Not Yet.
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Gary Bauer Arrest Made
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Josh Hammer The Welcome Demise of Climate Change Catastrophism
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Victor Davis Hanson A Newsom Nihilist Nomination?
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David Harsanyi War Powers Are Dead
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Tim Graham Those Lazy, Hazy, Crazy Days of Skipping ‘Morning Joe’
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Mark Alexander Profiles of Valor: SSgt William Pitsenbarger (USAF)
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Erick Erickson At War With Cartels
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Allen West Sympathy for the Devil
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The Washington Stand On David, Drug Boat Strikes, and Leaving No Survivors
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The Babylon Bee Minnesota Vikings Change Name to Minnesota Somali Pirates
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